Pouring Shadows (Chapter 3)

by TwinkleStar

Published July 12, 2013

In Shadows

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The girl took one painful look at the shards that had sunk deeper into her flesh. It had been an entire day since she had been kept here and she’d managed to retain her sanity up till now. She looked up, with one last spec of hope, at the small square shaped window, occupied by vertically running metal bars, up on the wall beside her. She could manage to climb out through it if only she somehow removed those metal bars blocking her way.

Silver strands of hair rested on her eyes and she wiped them off only to realize how damp they were. It was quite humid and suffocating inside the small room she was kept. There was only a single table where a tray of food now rested. It had been there since afternoon and it was evening by now. The girl could tell by the darkness outside the square hole.

Orange light from the bulb above her illuminated the room. She gaped at the metal rods once again at the window, narrowing her eyes. A slight ache formed in the middle of her forehead. Her lips fell into a tight line as she tried to focus. More sweat trickled down the side of her face. If it had worked with the glass of water, it would surely work here as well. She just needed a little more time…

Just as the girl clutched her left arm, footsteps approached. Her head spun around swiftly and she let go of the arm. Tension swirled inside her and the ache was just starting to worsen.

‘Where is that girl? What do they mean she isn’t eating anything?’ A sharp female voice echoed through the hallway. No sooner was there a woman standing behind the metal bars outside the room, glaring at the girl who averted her eyes from her immediately.

‘What is this?’

The woman glanced at the untouched food on the tray that had gotten cold by now.

‘Why have you not eaten?’

The girl didn’t respond. She stared blankly at the floor beside her.

‘Iris, I am talking to you. Look at me.’

The girl’s eyes met the woman’s for the first time at hearing her name being called out. Iris looked away again and hugged her legs tightly, pretending no one was there.

The woman’s nostrils flared with anger as she took out a key from the pocket of her long coat and inserted it into the keyhole. There was a click and the bars shifted to one side with a screech, just enough for her to enter. Iris’s expression didn’t change but she clenched her fists for she was trying hard to conceal her fear.

The woman had long, black hair that swayed behind her as she approached. Her vicious, snake like eyes scanned the tiny hunched figure. She was wearing a long dark red gown that reached her ankles. It suited her for she was a tall lady. Iris watched from the corner of her eye. The woman bent down to pick up a rusted metal rod from the floor. Iris’s eyes widened and she turned her head to take in the full view. The woman looked at her with pure wickedness.

**************************

Night was just as silent as the day had been. I was sitting on the zigzag metal staircase of the third floor, just outside my flat. The tiny golden piece of glass rested on the palm of my hand. It had been glowing frequently the entire day. It would glow for a little while after every few minutes. Then it would fade and approximately an hour later, golden light would emanate from it again.

The longer I held it, the more it would remind me of the golden cube that had been in my possession until only recently. The cube would be about the size of a dice. Something that small couldn’t just be found anywhere. It was impossible to look for now and yet I couldn’t forgive myself for being so careless.

I let out a sigh when a tiny creak behind me made me jump. I rose from my sitting position and turned around in one swift motion, my shadow’s scythe at the girl’s throat. Dark eyes blinked at me confusingly and I pinched the bridge of my nose in irritation. ‘Again, really now Dixon?’ I thought to myself. The shadow boy lowered the scythe and melted back onto the stairs below me, clinging to my feet once again.

‘You know, if you sneak up on people like that while they’re on duty, they might mistake you for being the enemy,’ I told her, placing my hands on the metal railing and looked several feet down.

‘I wasn’t sneaking. I was there the whole time. You just didn’t notice me,’ Cheryl said with a pleasant smile. ‘You seemed to be lost in some deep conflict within yourself so I didn’t say anything… it seems like we’re assigned to a same area once again.’

‘Hmm, true.’

I looked up at the sky. The moon hadn’t changed much from the previous night. It was the same, thin, semi-circular line that looked like an upside down smile.

‘Were you thinking about that girl?’ Cheryl’s sudden question instantly grabbed my attention. I looked at her. Her red hair was braided behind her back this time and it seemed as the fringes never left her forehead.

‘I was… no, not really.’

‘Does that shard belong to her?’ was her next question which again took me off-guard.

‘No. No it… I just found it somewhere–’

‘It’s been glowing in your pocket for quite a while now. Don’t you think something’s odd?’ Cheryl interrupted. Her eyes were fixed at the pocket of my black jacket. I looked down to notice a dim, yellow light radiating from inside. I quickly stuffed my hand inside it in embarrassment.

‘It’s alright. I can keep secrets.’ Cheryl’s voice resembled that of a child’s and she looked up at me with pleading eyes.

I looked away, sighing in surrender. For some reason I didn’t have the energy to argue with her or to tell her to mind her own business.

‘To be honest with you, I found this shard in the morning when I was fixing the staircase. It was just lying there. It’s been glowing every now and then.’

‘So it does have something to do with the girl?’

I glanced at her with an incredulous expression. ‘Did she not hear me just now?’ I thought.

‘I said I don’t know,’ I spoke in a harder voice than normal and regretted it the minute my words rung in her ears.

She didn’t say anything for several seconds so I turned to her to apologize when I noticed that her attention seemed to be elsewhere. Her brows were puckered and she was looked down at the dark street below.

‘What is–’ I was asking her when she shushed me. Then without looking at me, she grabbed the metal railing in front and pulled herself onto it.

‘Wait, what’re you doing? You’re too young to go for a dive like that.’

I started towards her but she was quicker than me. With her hands stretched out in front, she leaped into the air, making a perfect flip to angle herself with the ground. I didn’t care how good she was, there was no way she could pull this off without breaking a bone or two. Within seconds I was on the railing and dived after her. My eyes searched the ground quickly for any signs of threat.

It was at that moment that something dark came swooping towards me. I looked up just in time to glide to one side. When I looked again, there was no one. The wind beat my face hard and I swallowed. Jumping and gliding through air would always leave my throat dry and eyes watery. However, I was used to it so my eyes were always open. I noticed Cheryl was having a hard time keeping her face controlled.

Her hands were shielding her face in front of her and her red, thick braid vibrated roughly in the air.

‘This is why we always make sure our hair is properly tied while on duties and beginners…’ I said, taking hold of her arm, ‘always wear their night glasses at times like these.’

We were about to hit ground when I pulled her close and let my shadow solidify into a soft material, on which I landed perfectly in a crouch. I could hear Cheryl’s rapid breaths and carefully let her stand on her own. She had her fists full with my shirt which she slowly released as if just realizing we had stopped.

‘You okay?’ I asked in a low voice.

She nodded quickly and looked up as if expecting to see something over there.

‘What is it?’ I repeated my earlier question and this time, she answered obediently.

‘I thought I saw this dark shadow flying across the street so fast that my eyes never caught track of where it went. Then all of a sudden, while I was falling, it just jumped at me and did something to my eyes. I don’t know what it did but… my eyes were burning. I couldn’t see anything!’

I noticed just then that her eyes were red from rubbing too much. So that’s why she had been shielding her face like that.

‘Are you alright now?’

She nodded.

I looked up at the empty sky. It hadn’t just been a coincidence. I had crossed paths with that thing twice in the same day. I was not going to let it go that easily.

‘Stay,’ I told Cheryl.

‘But–’ She started to object when my eyes met hers with a serious look and she stopped. She watched as I leaped into the air alongside of a building, using my shadow to create steps for me along the wall to climb up. The steps disappeared after I’d passed them. I had gotten higher this time. I was on the fifth floor staircase. I looked down one last time to make sure Cheryl was being a good girl. She was still there, to my content.

The wind blew for a brief moment and in those few seconds I saw the dark shadow bounce off from one roof to another. That was it.

I swallowed, taking out a small rectangular box from my pocket. I pressed at one end and the cap popped open. There was still enough powder to last me another two nights. I jerked the box upside down on my palm and white powder puffed onto it. I rubbed my palms against each other and put the box back. Powder helped grabbing onto things while gliding in air and I had a good feeling that there was going to be a lot of swinging on the chase.

‘Now I’m ready.’

My shadow appeared beside me. A dark figure with the same height as mine, except that the boy had no facial features and the only color he could ever wear was black.

‘Change,’ I said the words clearly in a low voice.

The boy’s shoes shifted for a split second after which, he deformed into a cloud of smoke that blew right into my face. I felt its cold grip on my shoulders and my lips quivered slightly but I didn’t blink. I had only recently invented a new way of travel and it was going to take some time getting used to.

Black wings sprouted out from my back, I felt their touch and a shiver ran down my spine. The next second ticked and I was airborne.

The wind beat hard at my face and my jacket was swaying violently in air. I zoomed up quicker than an arrow. My wings flapped hard but I could only hear a faint sound coming from them. My ears must have gone numb by the time I reached a certain height, from where I could see the entire town. I could detect the dark figure speedily making its way, jumping from one roof top to the other.

I clenched my fists for I had never done this before. If I failed, I might end up with serious injuries. I bolted towards the figure, slicing through the air like a knife. My mind was set. I was to spread my wings only seconds before hitting the roof floor. If I succeeded in doing that, I would be able to launch myself directly at the enemy.

There was a slight pressure in my stomach that kept increasing as I got closer to the roof. Within seconds before impact, my black wings spread wide open, trapping air in them, and my direction of movement became parallel to the roof. I was closing in. I could see the person’s black cape sway behind him. He was shorter than me and had a hood over his head so it was impossible to see his face.

I stretched my arms out towards him. My wings fluttered and my fingers were able to coil around the edges of the cape.

‘Stop!’ I called out, using my feet to halt myself but my hand came back part empty. The dark figure slipped from my grasp so easily even though I’d had a strong hold on his cape. It accelerated towards the end of the roof but instead of jumping onto another one, it disappeared. I ran to catch up and peered down from the top of the building.

The thing was zigzagging swiftly from one staircase to the other, downward. I braced myself for another flight when a strange sensation on my hands made me look down at them. It was only then that I realized a black sticky liquid covered my palms where I’d touched the cape. Whatever that thing was, it sure was gruesome.

****

I landed in a crouch on the street. My wings stretched wide open at either side until they thinned out and turned to smoke. The smoke condensed within seconds and my shadow was at my feet again. I looked around in the dim, orange night light, all the while trying to steady my heavy breathing. My hands and face felt cold from the flight.

The street was silent. Street lamps illuminated it at intervals. The buildings seemed more or less dead and vacant. I breathed steadily, craning my neck in every direction for any sign of threat.

‘I know it’s hiding here somewhere. It can’t just disappear like that,’ I figured.

I started in one direction, walking alongside the street. I made sure that my feet were as silent as a rat’s. It would be easier to detect the enemy’s movements if mine were muted. I felt my hands itch and scratched them, attempting to tear the sticky substance off but I didn’t feel it there. I glanced down and what I saw made me freeze.

Fear recoiled in my stomach. I hadn’t felt this afraid in a long time. Whatever was out there had left its mark on my skin. My face was drained of color and my mouth slightly hung open as I gaped at the dark pattern of the substance that had now become part of my skin. The itching didn’t seem like it would cease either, yet I just stared silently, feeling my guard melt down.

Comments & reviews · 4
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Sins
Review
Sins wrote a review Review · Jul 28, 2013

Hey TwinkleStar! You only had one review during Christmas in July from your Secret Santa, so I'm here to give you your second one. :) You don't seem to have posted the first two chapters of this story (well, I can't find them anyways), so I figured I'd start here. Obviously because I haven't read the first two chapters, I may get a little confused over some things, so I apologise in advance for that.

I actually really like this concept overall. It seems original thus far, and I love the idea of your main character manipulating and controlling his shadow to use to his advantage. It's a really neat idea. Your grammar and spelling was generally good, minus one or two awkward sentences, and so the chapter read nice and smoothly overall. Your characters seem interesting too, and I think you could lead them in several directions. It was quite a long chapter, but I actually liked its length because it's the kind of length a chapter in a published novel would be. A nice job overall, methinks.

With regards to critiques and advice, the first thing I want to bring up may just be due to the fact that I haven't read the first two chapters of this. I didn't quite understand why Iris was unnamed at the beginning of this chapter. Do you not reveal her name her in the first two chapters? This obviously may genuinely be the first chapter she does get named, but if that is the case, I think you should maybe make it a bigger deal than it is at the moment. If you've waited three chapters to reveal her name, I kind of want you to make the reveal more dramatic. A simple way of doing this, I think, would be to end her section with the reveal. Don't say what her name is until the very end because it will be more likely to have greater impact.

Something else I found a little weird here is the way Cheryl jumped off the building (they were on a building, right?). Your main character made it clear that she was too young and incapable to do that successfully, so why did she do it? I just don't see what her motive is. Did she want to show off? Did she genuinely think she could do it? Did she do it knowing your protagonist would help her out? Obviously I don't know her character very well because I haven't read the first two chapters, so maybe I'm just missing something, but I can't see why Cheryl would do something like that when she knew it wouldn't go well. Even if she didn't realise she'd be incapable, what was the point of jumping off the building?

The only other critique I have for you is concerning the actual events of this chapter. Like I said earlier, it is pretty long, right? That's not a problem for me, but for a chapter that is so long, I couldn't help feeling that not a lot actually happened in this. We saw a small scene with Iris, and then all that really happened in the next scene was Cheryl jumping off a building, your protagonist spotting that shadow figure, and then him chasing that figure. I'm not saying you should have your main character catch the shadow figure or anything, but do you sort of see what I'm saying? For a rather lengthy chapter, not a whole bunch of stuff actually happens.

Negatives aside, I do think this story of yours has potential. I really love the concept and idea you have here, and I think it's bursting with originality. The technical side of your writing is pretty great to because I didn't really spot any major issues regarding grammar and punctuation, and that's always a really good plus. With some tweaking here and there, I think you'll have a pretty awesome chapter here! If you have any questions or comments regarding this review, please just let me know. :)

Keep writing,

xoxo Skins

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kayfortnight
Review
kayfortnight wrote a review Review · Jul 14, 2013

Hello again! Account trouble over? Good, I'd hate to never see an ending to this story:)

This isn't going to be a long review; I think this is even better than the last two. I like the ending, because I'm curious to see what the black goop actually did to his hands and whether it will have a lasting effect. Yay for cliffhangers! Is Iris grabbing her arm what activates her powers? I didn't quite get that part.

A few nitpicks, the only things I really think you should edit:

She looked up, with one last spec of hope

Think you mean speck here.

The cube would be about the size of a dice.

Die? Dice is plural.

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mystogan
Review
mystogan wrote a review Review · Jul 13, 2013

Grammar wise and writing wise it was almost perfect. Don't ask why it wasn't perfect, I rarely say something is perfect. The descriptions do the scenes and characters justice. As I said in earlier reviews your writing makes it very easy to become familiar with characters. Already I feel like Cheryl has been a prominent character. Indeed it has only been three chapter but so much has happened and yet so little has actually happened ( I will elaborate on this at the end).

As I said before Cheryl doesn't seem trustworthy. She seems to have a hidden agenda which she made obvious by her staring at the glowing object and her interest in the girl. In fact this caped figure, I have a suspicion that she might be working with him and that there might be some huge plan going on in the shadows.

I find it very interesting reading about the girl in the prison. Because I only read a little about her each chapter everything I read about her parts seems like gold. Its not just that its like I know for the main character (oops forgot his name) there will be a lot of description and that would mean the pace slows down. But with the girl her scenes are so small and yet within them the there is both plot and description. To be most precise your choice of words in the girl's scene are perfect, they depict exactly what you want without taking up so much space.

I can see that both of their scenes are progressing in some way. What I am curious about is when they will finally collide. I can see it will happen soon but I am getting restless waiting for it. For me it is getting hard to wait.

Now I would like to take some time out for the shadows. It is a very interesting and unique concept which you have slowly developed from the beginning. I like how you didn't simply start the story with a bogged down explanation of the shadows but decided to integrate them into the plot casually. Although I would advice you put in some form of detailed explanation soon. I am not too sure if everyone has them or if its just the main character. If there is some detail I have misunderstood could you clear this up with me please. Like does anyone else have them. Wasn't it everyone on the watch has one, which begs the questions where was Cheryl's.

Now finally building on my earlier point. Whilst in three chapters you have made considerable progress, I still don't feel like there is enough pace. For one thing there are still many mysteries and no clear future direction to the plot. As a reader I find that great as it spells a good story that has its readers hooked. As a fan I am becoming disappointed waiting for something to happen. You may write long chapters but I read through them so quickly and when I get to the end, I am like, what that's it? what happens next?

So make sure you get to that next chapter soon.

and I forgot to say, kudos on the cliff hanger ending. It definitely spices things up. Once again I suspect Cheryl- sorry don't know what it is with her, I just don't trust her. I reckon even if she does turn out to be a good character, I still won't like her. Also with the black ink stuff, I think its great that the main character's resolve broke. It shows a human side to him. If he had been unaffected by it mentally, it would have been a bit unrealistic. Great ending. Like adding a lemon drops to a juicy chicken. It just makes a delicious thing just that more delicious.

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NicoleBri
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NicoleBri wrote a review Review · Jul 13, 2013

Hey, I am your secret santa, I don't do reviews much so this might be suckish. Sorry. Lol. Well anyways, I like the chapter :) although I haven't even read chapters one or two. I don't see any grammatical errors. That's really all I know to say, lol. Have fun writing!!! < 3

-panda



In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
— JRR Tolkien