Hello Tuesday!
It's a lovely day and MergSword here will review your work!
This poem is nice and fun. I remember we did something like this in the third grade, but hat was years ago.
Things to Fix
1. I noticed some commas, some periods and some lines without any punctuation at all. I would add a bit of those if I were you. The non punctuation you have going on makes the poem a little choppy.
2. You started to lose the " I'm From" parts in your poem, was that intentional may I ask? It just kind of deducts from the topic of the poem.
3. I kind of think you can make the poem a little longer and a bit more in depth.
Things I Like
1.The introduction. It's all about magnetic openings, and if it's not the poem just scream bland and bleh, but your introduction was very good and I wanted to keep reading.
2. The third stanza. I don't know why but I like the term," turning over a new leaf."
3.Candy apples and hot, and heavy pumpkin pie: Now I'm hungry. Thank you.
Overall
I really liked this poem and I think you did a great job! Keep on writing, and remember, stay AWSOME
~MergSword
Points: 240
Reviews: 73
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