Young Writers Society

"Starring up at rainbows"; right off the bat I wondering if you meant to write staring? "Majestic you are but know" as well, is that meant to be now? I really enjoy the poem I'm just slightly confused by the first line and it's meaning. Then again, I could just be missing something. I love the comparisons between indigo and violet especially, that's a comparison that I think will stick with me which is something that always makes me happy.

Hey Tuesday,

So overall I think you wrote a very linear poem. I wish you had done more with it. You've got a good sense of idea about what you want to say but I don't think you actually put enough punch behind it to make it a poem I'd read repeatedly.

I like what you were going for, but combining indigo and violet is sort of cheap. I mean, violet is more like the rich red-purple while indigo is completely different. They don't look the same at all. That's like saying lime green and teal are the same. Teal is a totalLy different shade. Indigo is blue purple and violet is red purple.

Other than that, you should check this out: Capitalization in Poetry

I went over capitalization in an article and I think you could use the info. There are also articles on punctuation but I don't think any of them say it exactly right yet. Basically punctuate like you breathe, punctuate like you write, or don't punctuate are your three options and depending on how free you want the poem to be, or how easy to read, depends on what you pick. For this one, I would suggest punctuate like you breathe because you have a very good flow for the language in this poem but without the punctuation, and having the capitalization it seems a bit misguided.

I think you also need to work on your ending a little more with this poem. It feels a bit too dreamy and thus, disconnected from the rest of the poem. Try to solidify it with all of the same things you used in the poem during the colors, but I have something to say about that too.

Namely, watch that you're not using things that are cliche about colors. Try to create an image that will give us the sense of what you want to say about the color if you want to use color theory. That's going to give you a better result than summarizing the theory for us because it will be more memorable and unique.

Until next time,
-Aley

This was lovely. Red has always been my favorite color! So when I read about red, I fell in love. You engulfed the words with excitement, and it made the poem show your colors. I'm not very good at reviewing, but this contest has gotten me into it. I prefer poetry because of it's beauty. And may I say you showed it fully in this poem. Anyways, enough with my babbling.

Let's review the two major key points in poetry. 1) Feelings: You hit this spot with flying colors (lol). Very neatly too. There was an excited feeling when I read this, I hope to always feel like that when reading your stuff. 2) Wording: The wording was very good too. It was neatly transferred from one color to the next, and even with rhyming. You did thee best job I've seen all day.

That's about it. This was awesome! Your the bomb, and I hope you keep on finding more poems like these. Btw, may you find a four-leaf clover today (or tonight depending on your time zone). BYE!

~Laelle

This poem makes me want to go find a rainbow.......lol I like it, I like it a lot. This poem speaks to me on a different level and to me I feel like you was not just talking about a rainbow, but bout yourself. The way you depicted each color made me go back and look at myself and was vaulting each piece of my self. Like for instance red is for power between love and hate........I look at that as if it was representing my heart. I mean that is usually where love and hate starts and ends, then when you said blue calmly questioning tranquility or pain. This made me think about my peace of mind, because with out tranquility you have stress and to me stress is a pain.....anyway I just want to say I really like this peace of work

Heyo Tues, Poet here for a review.

Let's take this line by line.

Line one: "Starring up at rainbows, majestic you are but know" I might be too stupid to understand this, but this line confused me a bit. You might've meant to write "staring" instead of "starring?" Forgive me If I'm wrong

Line two: This line is one of my favorites. "We wonder why your colors are so distinct by yet so faint" But I believe the word "but" would fit better than "by."

Line three: Perfection. No Issues here.

Line four: This to me stands out above the whole poem: "Subtle lines etched in the heavens like godly paint" It's a beautiful simile.

And all the lines where you described the colors: I like how you gave each color Its own personality, very original touch.

Line twelve: Amazing line! I get a crystal clear picture in my head when you write this.

Aaaand the rest of the poem is absolute perfection. It had a great flow, good punctuation, capitalization and such. You made very few mistakes. Nice work! ^.^

May your travels through space and time be merry,

-xJ ❤︎

Hi there! This is such a beautiful poem and it left a smile on my face
I have never looked at a rainbow in this way but now, whenever I see one in the sky I will remember this poem. I really like how you gave character and 'soul' into each colour (I'm British, so I spell it like colour XD) and your words alone have managed to paint a masterpiece. I'm a fan of poetry with a message and yours emits optimism. Your descriptions are so tasteful and I truly respect your style of writing. I can't wait to read your other works

Keep up the good work!
True

Hello, Tuesday! I am curious about your choice of username, but that's not what we're focusing on here. Our topic is your beautiful sonnet that I am going to review, so let's get on to that instead of my senseless blabber!
I really liked how you characterized each color/shade in it's own special way. It made this poem rather unique and appealing, and I liked that. The title was rather plain, so I expected a plain poem, but I was shocked to see how original this was. It's very intriguing and I have to compliment you on that!
I found the part in the second line a little odd though. You said "distinct by yet so faint." I understand these are supposed to be contradictory, that's not what I have a question on. I was pondering on the fact of the "by yet." It just sounded a little strange. Then again, poetry does have weird tendencies to use a different way to write or express a word or phrase, so I assume that's all that was. Nevertheless, I wanted to address it, just in case in was indeed a flaw.
This is a really cheerful poem, and it was nice to read something happy and colorful for a change. ~Prez. T

How does it feel to read what you already have mastered so well? I don't know about you but I feel nervous, for the first time, to review someone's work. You are such an excellent reviewer which makes me feel like my reviews are useless. haha

I'll review this work of yours and would want you to review my "review"

What a beautiful poem it was. Just amazing stuff, CapitalMonday. I never knew you were such a good poet too! You are already famous for awesome reviews but now, your poems are also gonna make me your fan. Seriously!

It was really nice and well-written. I liked every bit of it. Let me still force myself to tell you things which I think could have been better. (nothing really big. Just small, silly things.)

The word "godly". I really wish the "G" should have been capitalized. I know, this is stupid but still. I mean, God should be respected everytime, everywhere!

I loved the ending. I really wish I could write the ending like yours in my poems. I struggle the most when it comes to finishing things up (same goes for reviews).

But overall, it was superb and I have to try really hard to come up to your level on both, poetry and reviews. Looking forwards to reading more of your reviews and poems. haha

Good luck. You are just perfect!

the poem was really beautiful and reminded me of my nursery drawing where i introduced as many colors as i could in a rainbow. i like the choice of words and the connection you make
a sonnet is in most of the time an abode to someone- well you choose something and it in no way lessened its spirit. if i were to nitpick i would suggest only these few points...
firstly the word "majestic" is quite misfitting in the first line, i get your tone but the formality in this words prevent us to connect. well its my view and i appreciate your choice of this too...
next "beautifully cheerful mate"- i think the two big words don't really suit side by side' perhaps try some other line- "yellow a promising friend who even shares my fate"- or try something else but just think about it.
a sonnet's tone suggest that the last three lines should have same rhyming scheme so i think afraid doesn't really match. think about you and you will certainly come up with something more appropriate.
all in all i really liked your poem. its beautiful in style and sense, just a few final touches and it will be good to sail.
keep writing
Rituparna

This is a nice poem.


The only things that jumped out at me is that know and by look like they were supposed to be now and but.


Besides that, I'd say it deserves 9/10 stars. There are no spelling mistakes, no grammar mistakes. I won't say anything about punctuation (other than capitalization) because poems don't really need punctuation.
In fact, there are no mistakes at all, other than the two I pointed out. You have clearly described a rainbow, and somehow gave each color a description and a personality that made sense to the reader.

Great Job!


~Swiftfur

Wow! For a poem named "Colors", you have definately incorporated a ton of emotion such in a short amount of writing. Honestly, I think your poem is amazing! To make everything easier on you, I have created a pros and cons list of sorts.

Pros: Your poem is very thoughtful and it illustrates a clear story line. The vivid details also helps create a clear message for the readers to connect with. Additionally, the formatting seems to fit nicely, and the vocabulary creates a consistant flow throughout the entire poem.

Cons: As of now, I cannot think of anything that needs to be fixed. The only thing you might want to consider, is lengthening the poem next time. This is not something that needs to be necessarily fixed by any means, it is just a sugestion. Other than that, everything seems to be perfect.

Overall, I think your poem is amazing! I hope you enjoyed my review, and I expect to see more of your writing in the future!

Interesting idea to give such characteristics to colors.
If I could suggest something, I'd make this even more symbolic. Give even more personification to the colors (personification: describing inanimate objects with human qualities).
I might also vary the length of some lines to make the flow easier, and break this into stanzas to help this piece appeal to the eye even more.

Is this your first poem, at least on YWS? You have a great start going here!

Sorry these are really quite general suggestions and tips, but I hope it's still helpful! I see you're fairly new here, so let me know if you need anything.
Keep up the great work:)

In the spirit of Review Day on behalf of the Firebolts,
~iron.n
I revise not as a judge, but as a fellow writer eligible for judgment on the same level.

Hi
I really love this poem, it just seems so pure and perfect, how you describe the all colours. In the second line did you mean "We wonder why your colours are so distinct but yet so faint" or not? It might make sense as it is I'm not sure! The rhyming patterns and description make this poem really magical to read. It's a really great poem.

Hey! Tigerlilly here for a review!

I really enjoyed the imagery used in this poem! I liked the way you described each color and a meaning behind them, such as blue:
Blue calmly questioning tranquility or pain

I really liked that line, I'm not sure why, I just really love the way you describe each individual color. Which brings me to my next topic; One thing I would personally change is how you had your colors arranged. It struck me odd, how you did not use the usual ROYGBIV. I think if you had it in that order, then it would make it just slightly better (though honestly, it doesn't get much better than this! Its amazing!)

Just wanted to let you know that this is a really good poem and you should keep writing!

This was a really great poem! I think you used really good imagery and used a lot of really good descriptive words. I really enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to more!

This was a really great poem! I think you used really good imagery and used a lot of really good descriptive words. I really enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to more!