Published February 11, 2006
You hurt me; I couldn't stand it....
I wanted to hear you but the truth wasn't true;
Or maybe it was that I
Didn't want to hear it from you
You always are telling me, and I don't believe you
it's not true;
Have to let go, can't hold on
You don't want me
My heart is gone, I can't accept it
You never care
No matter how hard I try; you're never there
Here it is, it's a fact
You just don't like me
I just can't accept that
-Nicole L.
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Canary word: Present
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141,708 Literary Works • 675,597 Reviews
they have a point, don't make the words bold or put symbols. But good poem anyways
What the heck happened to the rules? Honestly... I mean... HONESTLY! Did you do this in your other poem? I can't remember, you did the enlarging I know, but that heart thing was pathetic.... I didn't get the point, i was sort of disctracted... but... *forgets what I was about to say*
Twas sort of choppy.
See this for critique on this poem:
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7351
Again, you don't need the enlarged fonts at those certain points in your poem. Don't use chat abbreviations like "<3", either. In "No matter how hard I try; you're never there", you need a comma instead of a semicolon.
Otherwise, it was good. I liked its sound and flow a lot. Keep it up! I am beginning to like your work quite a bit.
-*-*--Diana--*-*-