Published April 26, 2005
I don’t cry over spilt milk,
It’s just not my style,
Because I figure,
I’ll get over it,
After a while,
Because what will crying do,
It won’t bring you back,
I’ll just face the facts,
That it was a
Bunch of
Smack!
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139,448 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
Good poem structure, though I didn't get the last three lines,
"I'll just face the fact
that it was a,
Bunch of
Smack!
You know you could absolutely do better than that and finish the poem better.
Also the poem could be a lot better without all the commas after every line, the reader should be given a breather by using a full stop where necessary,the commas created the impression that one line was a run-on to the next.
Good Job anyways.
Hi there!
Alright, my comments are in red below:
Okay, first off I want to say that I enjoyed this poem. It was written very well and flowed well too. There was a definite rhythm to it and I couldn't find any grammer or spelling errors. I am slightly confused about the ending though. Did the character just slip on the milk they spilled and fall on the floor? Be a little more clear about the ending. It left me with unanswered questions.
Overall this is a good poem. Keep writing!
This is pretty good, a true concept to be sure, but some things don't make sense to me. The last four lines seem out of place, and I wouldn't use the word "smack" at all. I would suggest retooling that part. Not much else to say, keep on writing.
Haiii! This was a sweeeet poem... Lighthearted yet it went to some sort of depth towards the end xD
I don’t cry over spilt milk,
Spoiler
It’s just not my style.
Because I figure;
I’ll get over it
After a while.
Because what will crying do?
It won’t bring you back,
SoI’ll just face the facts;
That it was a bunch of
Smack! I don't like the word smack, it doesn't seem like the proper word to use here. I suggest you find something better suited xD
So, I made a few edits/suggestions in bold above but part from those things I really loved this piece. It was easy to read and still told a story. I like the abrubt end, just not the word in itself
I'll give you 4/5 icky sticky spiders for this wonderful piece! Nice job!
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
Hello! I am here to nitpick! any correction that has more than one character is a suggestion!
Here it is:
Those are my nitpicks. I hope that it helps you. the punctuation changes were to make it look a little better. It was starting to sound like a giant run-on sentence, which is never a good thing. Anyways, I hope it helps, good job, good work, and good luck with future writing!
----LostMagi
I liked it at first, but then it when a little down hill, especially the last lines. Not really sure what you were talking about. I liked the overall poem though. It was a nice piece of works. Short, sweet and to the point. There should be more simple poetry like this out there. Good job!
Veritas
No commenter again...
The rhyming at first, doesnt seem forced...but then the last three lines just confused me..
huh? I dont get it. Apart from that, its good. Short and simple.