z

Young Writers Society



The Mark of The Stones Chapter 3

by TreeHugger12


I posted Chapter two along with the first so I guess this is the Third Chapter... Hope you guys enjoy! :elephant:

"What?" Joshua said in a shaky voice, "I didn't do anything! I don't even know how I got here!" Not knowing where to look, he started facing everywhere, turning around, and looking up and down.

“Don’t worry, I’m just kidding. Don’t you earthlings have a sense of humor?” said the disembodied voice. Dim lights came on revealing a group of odd looking people sitting behind a crescent-shaped table. All of them were young except for the woman in the middle.

“Don’t tell me you’re like the rest of the council. You all have no sense of humor!” Said the elderly woman. She stepped down and approached the befuddled young man and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“So I’m not going to prison?” asked Joshua.

“No, no, of course not. And I believe you have so many questions swimming around in your head right now.” she chuckled as she led him towards a curtained window. She had gray hair and wrinkles and soft eyes which showed all the wisdom one might acquire at her age.

When they reached the curtains, she clapped and then the curtains parted and revealed a breath taking view of a city that seemed to come out of the history books. The buildings were built in the style of the Greeks and Romans, with people wearing togas. A large stone wall surrounded the city and beyond that, a huge forest.

“Welcome to the great city of Olympus! Capital of Pelianor. We are known as the ‘Unified Ones’ or Pelians.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” he said in disbelief.

“No we are not; now let’s get on with it already!” said one of the council members.

“Patience, Ares.” she said calmly.

“Why did you bring me here?” Joshua asked.

“Because of who you are and because of what you are.” the old woman said, heading back to the table.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked.

“You see, it is a time of great conflict. The forces of darkness are arrayed against the forces of light. We, the council elders that you see here, represent the alliance of the Unified. Our enemy is strong and growing stronger by the day. Our only defense against our enemy is a weapon which we will entrust you with finding.” She explained. “The weapon is our people’s only chance of survival.”

“Ooo…..kay” was all a disbelieving Joshua could muster to say as he stared at the old woman with a skeptical eye.

“Now, if you close your mouth, I will introduce you to the council.” she said. Joshua’s mouth snapped shut.

“Good.” They started walking around the room and the elderly woman started to introduce the council, one by one. “Now then, I shall move on to the introductions. That …” pointing to a thin man at the end of the table “… is Hermes, the only other council member who occasionally has a sense of humor.” she whispered to him then winked.

“That is Aphrodite. She is also known as Venus. That’s Hades and this is Zeus.” she continued as they nodded one by one when they were called.

“Wait,” he interrupted, “isn’t Zeus supposed to be the leader?”

“No. He was just the friendliest so the local earthlings praised him more. Now, let me get on with the introductions. This is my sister Hera. And that is Apollo. Hephaestus. And you know Ares.” She finished.

“I’ve read about you in my history books. You are the pantheon of Gods. Then I guess you are Athena, right?” he said grinning, sure of his answer.

“That was one of my names back then, but I choose to go by Myrina now. The Supreme Commander of the Pelianor army and the Head of the Grand Council or as you call it, the Pantheon.”

“Oh, I see.” Joshua mulled over his next questions “So, here I am in the presence of the most powerful beings in the world, and believe me I’m flattered and all that, but why, uhm…why me? Why not you? You gods are almighty, aren’t you?”

“We aren’t gods.” Myrina replied. “We are a group of immortals that possess technology far superior to any you can possibly imagine. To a primitive race such as yours, we may appear as gods."

An illusion, as if they were sent back in time, appeared. It showed the ancient world of the Romans and Greeks. “In your distant past, we lived among your kind.” she continued. The illusion showed Myrina, the other elders and some Pelians during their stay on earth.

“But we removed ourselves from your history when we noticed that our meddling had ill effects on your society’s development.” the images then changed to wars. The soldiers were bearing the emblems of different gods and shouting their names.

“That is why you probably don’t think any of this is real.” Myrina continued calmly.

“You still haven’t answered my question. Why me?” said Joshua almost irritated.

“You have a gene which was passed down from an ancestor that will enable you to acquire the weapon. Artemis, Apollo’s sister, was a member of the council before she chose to give up her immortality and her place here among the elders.”

A picture of Artemis showed up in front of Joshua. She was the woman in the picture in the bedroom where he had awoken. She looked like a younger version of his mother. His mother, a mestisa. He had thought she was fair because of the Spanish blood most Filipinos have. But the resemblance to Artemis was so close, it was almost scary.

“She was no longer part of the council but she still had the gene and she passed it down from generation to generation up to you. And since the gene disables the production of more than one offspring, it was a single and straight bloodline.” she continued. “It was pure luck that the bloodline survived even!” That made Joshua think, it was quite true that he didn't have any cousins on his mother's side that he knew of. As far as he knew, his mother was the only child of an only child of yet another only child. This made a lot of sense now.

“A long time ago, we had machines that could extend our lives greatly. Now, all but one is destroyed because of the enemy. If ever we stray too far from the city, we age rapidly” then the curtains closed again. "I tried to search for the weapon myself, but, in four hours time, I went from that," pointing to Aphrodite, "to this. So now, it’s up to you. You shall be the savior of Pelianor. You will find the weapon that will be used in the defense of Pelianor.” Myrina said.

“But I don’t even know what it looks like! Let alone find it!” Joshua said trying to convince the elders.

“That will not be a problem.” she said as she leaned back against her chair, “Come forth, chosen guardians.” she said.

Just then, two people came into the room. One was a short, light-haired young man, around fifteen or sixteen. He was wearing large, round glasses and had a smile that stretched from ear to ear. The other was wearing a cloak, Joshua couldn’t make out the person's face because it was in the shadow of the cloak. A green cloak.

“You’re the man that captured me!” Joshua said accusingly.


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Sat Feb 27, 2010 1:42 pm
Spitfire says...



No problem :wink:




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Fri Feb 26, 2010 3:17 pm
TreeHugger12 says...



Thanks for the tips by the way. :)




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Fri Feb 26, 2010 4:24 am
Spitfire says...



Yeah you can delete them when you go on your user portfolio, look at the file names and there should be a delete button. But if you don't want to delete them, you can just block them from others, but I don't know how to do that though...




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Fri Feb 26, 2010 4:07 am
TreeHugger12 says...



kinda confusing ain't it? Is it possible to delete posts?




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Wed Feb 24, 2010 3:07 pm
Spitfire says...



Yeah I did, I started reading the first chapter with Joshua and then the second. But then I saw there was a different chapter 1 and 2 with a different character, so I was kind of confused. I read them, but didn't comment 'cause I wasn't sure if you had continued the story as Alice or Joshua. Anyways, so I read chapter 3 and saw that you had continued on with Joshua, so I'm guessing you're sticking with that one. :lol: Anyways, it took me a while, but I got into the story... :wink:




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Wed Feb 24, 2010 6:03 am
TreeHugger12 says...



BTW, you probably read my first two failed attempts at improving this story. If you haven't read the first two chapters of this character's story, I suggest you should.




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Wed Feb 24, 2010 1:54 am
TreeHugger12 says...



Well, I've never really read or watched the Percy Jackson Movie and I wrote this a year ago... But sure, I'll watch out for that. Thanks for the tip. :)




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Wed Feb 24, 2010 1:19 am
Spitfire wrote a review...



Okay, so I quickly read your two other chapter 1 and 2, but the third chapter is with Joshua and not Alice, so I'm guessing you're sticking with him(??) I wasn't really sure, so I'll just comment on this one... :shock:

The story was good, I definitely wasn't expecting the story to turn into greek mythology... Just might want to watch out for something though; I normally hate any kind of comparison, but when you started with the guy that gets chosen by the gods to find a weapon, it sounded very Percy Jackson. I don't want to judge you on that, but I want to forwarn you that it did have some similarities with it. So just becareful with that.

Other than that, I thought the chapter was good, although I might've went more into the description of the city like you did in your other chapter 2. You described it more, giving us a better idea of how it looked.
So basically, it was good :lol:




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Sun Feb 21, 2010 4:27 pm
TreeHugger12 says...



Thanks again... I appreciate comments like yours Ranger Hawk, they're really helpful! :)




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Thu Feb 18, 2010 4:55 am
Ranger Hawk wrote a review...



Hey, so here I am for chapter 2!

Good twist at the beginning. :D And I looove that this is going into the Greek mythology field! I love stories like that! Your plot sounds really good, and I am really looking forward to seeing where you're going to go with this story!

There were some dialogue issues I noticed, but the link I posted in your last post should cover it all. ;)

TreeHugger12 wrote:“Whatever it was,” Joshua squealed in a panicky voice, “I really didn’t do it. Please, you’ve got to believe me.”


Starting from the last part of the first chapter, this is just a little too abrupt. I'd like to know what Joshua is feeling right now; certainly he's got to be thinking something along the lines of "What's going on? Where am I and who's talking to me? What could I possibly be in trouble for?" In fact, I think he'd be more confused about being accused of something instead of instantly protesting that he didn't do "it", whatever "it" is.

All of them were young except for the #FF0000 ">woman in the middle.

“Don’t tell me you’re like the rest of the council. You all have no sense of humor!” Said #FF0000 ">an elderly woman seated at the center of the table.


You've already told us that the woman in the middle is older than the rest. So you don't need to restate it in the next sentence.

Just then, two people came into the room. One was a short, light-haired young man, around fifteen or sixteen. He was wearing large, round glasses and had a smile that stretched from ear to ear. #FF0000 ">The other was wearing a cloak, he couldn’t make out his face for it was in the shadow of the cloak. A green cloak

“You’re the man that captured me!” Joshua said accusingly.


This ended rather abruptly. Also, the part in red is worded rather awkwardly. You use "he" to describe Joshua, but it could also be referring to the man with the cloak. Maybe you could just make it clearer to the reader who you're talking about. For example,

The other was a man wearing a cloak, his face hidden by the shadow of the hood. Joshua suddenly noticed the color - a dark green.

"You're the one who captured me!" he cried accusingly.


See how that just makes it very clear who you're describing?


All right, that's it! I can't wait to see what the next chapters bring; please let me know when you post more! :D




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Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:42 pm
Jarred911 wrote a review...



this is what you wrote

he started facing anywhere,
I would change the anywhere to everywhere. But, it was really good. You should check out some of my stories. The Dragon war Chapter one and the dragon war prologue. :elephant:





Once you have people's attention, you have a greater responsibility to tell them something of value.
— Tobias Forge (Ghost B.C.)