16+

The Games of War Ch. 3

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

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Chapter 3

    "Connor! Connor! Come on kid. Wake up!" I slowly opened my eyes, only to close them again from the sudden burning sensation. My throat began to feel itchy and I started coughing up salt water.

     "Wha-what happened?" I coughed out, trying to look out the slit of my eyelids.

    "You jumped out of the ship like a maniac to save that little girl!" I could make out Uncle Jecht's voice and suddenly snapped my eyes open and sat up.

     "The girl. Abby. Is she alright?" Jecht tried to push me back down, but I resisted looking around for the young girl.

     "She's fine Connor! Lay back down, you need to take it easy." I nudged his hand off me and stood up, kind of wobbly.

     "I need to see her for myself." I said bluntly. Jecht just sighed and moved out of the way pointing to the small girl, whom was cuddled up on a mans lap. Slowly, I wobbled to her, then regaining my land legs, quickened my pace.

    "Hey Abby...." I wasn't sure what to say honestly. I just.... needed to talk to her.

     "Hi mister. Daddy look! This is the nice boy who saved me!" Abby's face lit up and I felt a tidal wave of relief surge over me. The small girls father set Abby down and turned towards me. I couldn't help but be taken aback by the small tear slithering down his cheek.

     "I can't thank you enough. She's my daughter, and even I wouldn't have had the courage to jump knowing a massive shark was down there. You truly are a brave and kind soul. I thank you again young man. May I ask you your name?" Surely my eyes were wide in awe. Not once, has anyone, especially a grown man, said something like this to me.

     "It's fine really. My name's Connor." I quickly replied scratching my head. "You don't have to thank me. I'm sure anyone here would have done it." Everyone's head was down after I said that looking around. "Or not...." I mumbled.

     Suddenly, small, shaky arms were around my shoulders. Stepping back I looked to see a woman weeping.

     "Ma'am? A-are you okay?" After saying that, it was clear she was the little girl's mother.

     "I'm just fine! Thanks to you Abby is safe....What could we ever do to repay you?!" I raised my hands and could only smile.

     "Oh no, no. I could never ask for a payment. Just think of it as a random gift to you. You're in no debt to me." I managed. A tight squeeze hugged my leg and I quickly looked down. It was Abby.

    "Hey there shortstuff. Did you tell your parents what we promised?" A small look dawned on her face and she began shaking her head quickly.

     "Of course not! I told you mister, I was going to wait for you! Let's do it!" The small girl's smile seemed to lighten up the darkness inside of me. Smiling I looked up at her parents as Abby ran and hugged them.

      "Mommy. Daddy. I love you! With all my heart!" The two parents were shocked and quickly looked up at me, a look of utter amazement upon their faces. Quickly, they each gave me a nod and I turned to walk off.

      "I'm surprised kid. You actually survived that." The voice stopped me in my tracks, and I turned to see a man sitting in a chair.

      "What the hell do you mean survived? Why didn't you warn us about the glass!?" I hissed furiously, wondering how someone could be so heartless as to allow a little girl to nearly die.

     "Warn you? Well. Let's just say it was a test. That glass was replaced by a much weaker glass filled with cracks. Honestly, I can understand how you missed them they were so small. Congratulations. You passed kid." The man stood up into the light and I caught a glimpse of his rough features. Scars covered the man's body. His arms. His Legs. Even his hands had their fair share.

     It was strange though. None of them looked like they were created from a blade or anything sharp. They had a strange pattern. Some crossed, forming an X. Others were random, streaking in all different ways. I caught glimpse of an ominous skull tattoo on his arm.

      Two blades crossing each other, noticeable from the dark lost eyes of the creepy skull. Peeking over the top of the skull was a black widow, some of it's legs sticking into the empty eyes of the skull and onto the blades. This sent shivers down my back. That tattoo was vaguely familiar, like I had seen it standing in front of me, upon another mans arm. Although I wasn't positive.

     When the man stood up I quickly stepped forward and gripped his arm. "Hey! Hold it. What the hell do you mean a test?" The broad shouldered man turned toward me and that's when I got struck by his fearful dark gaze. My feet planted, I stared him back down trying to look as tough as possible.

      "Calm down boy. You didn't die, nor did the little girl. So what are you complaining about?" The scruffy, wolverine featured man walked into the shadows and I caught a hint of a smile from my peripheral vision.

     Shaking the eery man out of my mind, I walked back towards the stairs when Eliana appeared at my side.

     "Pretty brave thing you did back there." Eliana said.

     I shrugged her off, opened the heavy door, and headed downstairs. Neither I or Eliana talked the whole way down to the main floor. Upon reaching the Observatory room I turned around to see Eliana walking off towards the bar.

    Thankful, I pulled open the door and switched on the light switch, walking towards the rising podium. Flicking my finger, I turned the setting to the Ocean one and some music already on the system.

       Gently, I laid out along one of the larger waterbeds. My hands behind my head, I looked at the ceiling, seeing the calming motion of the sea and it's life. The music faded in and added to the calming sensation. It was a calming, relaxing, yet still upbeat and energetic song. I believe it was something like a violin song.

       Using the remote on the wall, I dimmed the lights and turned on the slight vibration under the bed, causing the water inside of it to rock lightly. Between these three ingredients, I was dozing off in no time. In fact, I would have been out like a light if it weren't for what had just happened.

    I had regained knowledge of what exactly had happened down there. When the shark's jaws and massive teeth were enclosing me, everything. The small object I had pulled out was merely what you might call a stink bomb. I intended on using it to prank Evillina, but turns out it had a much greater use.

 

      It simply made me taste like rubber dipped in acid, as well as put off a horrible aroma of rotten eggs, melted rubber, spoiled milk, extremely old pickle, and moldy bread. It was a well thought out prank that took me weeks, and it turns out it had saved my life.

     It must've caused the shark to instantly open it's mouth and scatter to get away from the taste and stench. Or that was what I was hoping for to happen. I passed out from fear, wimpy I know, so I'm not sure what happened except that it worked.

   For some reason I enjoyed the thrill. It was if I was born to fight, or born to seek thrilling things. Whatever it was, all I knew is that I wanted to do it again.

    When my eyes started closing on me, I realized that my adrenaline must've worn off or the exhaustion randomly decided to hit me with a hammer of extreme exhaustion. Letting my eyes completely shut, the gentle swaying of the waterbed, the relaxing under water sea view and noises, and the music, all took their chance to strike. Putting me fast asleep.

    A cold chill snaked down my spine, causing me to jump awake. I looked around, confused. Snow. Everywhere. But that couldn't be right, I was just on the ship. Maybe someone messed with the observatory to mess with me? It was a possible theory, but there was no podium in the center, nor was there a door.

   Heavy panting caught my attention. Somewhere off in the distance, I could hear the sound of paws slamming into the soft snow, and a faint heavy panting. Almost like a dog. As the sound got closer, I could tell it was coming from behind, and I quickly jerked around.

    Far off in the distance, I could make out the faint shape of a large dog. No, a wolf. The wolf continued towards me at full speed, and my breathing got heavier as I began to panic. I noticed I could see my breath and suddenly the sharp pain of the icy wind lashing at my skin made me grimace in pain.

    My attention quickly focused back on the wolf as it was only a few feet away from me. That's when everything began to slow down, as if I were in a movie. The wolf jumped, baring it's jaws at me, closing in on my face. Instinctively, I covered my face with my arms, expecting a fierce bite.

    Nothing. Not even the slightest feel of the wolf passing through me. I turned around to see the wolf still running, time speeding back up. When the wolf stopped and looked back at me, It suddenly gave me a sense of recognition. As if....It knew me. That's when the wolf let of a strange familiar aura, and a warm stare, that I had almost forgotten. This wolf.... It was someone I knew. But who?

    A loud knock on what I thought was the door, forced my eyes open. "Rise and shine kid."

   Groaning, I looked towards the doorway to see my uncle standing there.

   "What is it?" I said.

    "We're here."

     "Here? Where?"

     "Japan."

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
veeren
Review
veeren wrote a review · Sun Feb 24, 2013 4:33 pm

Heyo Tosh :D

You'll have to forgive me, for I haven't read the previous chapters. Perhaps if this one peak my interest, I'll take a look at them :D

But on to the review.

Spoiler
"She's fine Connor!


Comma before 'Connor'.

Spoiler
"Hey Abby...."


It seems you have your own form of an ellipsis here, aye? That's a no-no. The consecutive periods and that's all. No more, no less. I noticed you do it more than once, so I just had to point it out.

Spoiler
I'm sure anyone here would have done it."


Replace the period with a comma, since you're continuing the statement directly afterwords.

Spoiler
What could we ever do to repay you?!


Using a double punctuation shows that you don't have enough faith in your writing to convey a feeling to your readers properly. You should think you've written a good enough dialogue for your readers to feel the same emotions with or without more than one punctuation mark.

Spoiler
I can understand how you missed them they were so small.


Comma after 'them'.

Spoiler
Eliana said.


She said. We already know who you're talking about from your last sentence.

Spoiler
Neither I or Eliana talked


Either or, neither nor.

Spoiler
everything.


And everything. Stating just one memory and saying 'everything' doesn't really mean much.

Spoiler
It was if I was born to fight,


It was as if...

[/spoiler] all I knew is that I wanted to do it again. [/spoiler]

Just 'I knew I wanted to do it again' would work fine here. Otherwise it sounds dragged out.

Spoiler
exhaustion randomly decided to hit me with a hammer of extreme exhaustion.


Can you say, repetitive? ;)

And the rest was alright.
I must say, you have somewhat peaked my interest. I'll check out the other chapters, even if only to read them over. It's just the way you've written this that bugs me. If you could just fix the small problems, this would be an exceptional piece, and I'd be dying to read more.
Well actually, I'd love to read more anyway, so feel free to bug me if you post more of this piece.
Good work and keep on writing :D

Thanks! I tend to make a lot of little mistakes, but normally I won't catch them myself. That's why I post it on here. ^_^

User avatar
Auxiira
Review
Auxiira wrote a review · Sun Feb 24, 2013 1:44 pm

Hey Tosh, I said that I would review, so here I am!

but I resisted looking around for the young girl.
There should be a comma after "resisted".
You miss out apstrophe's in words quite a bit:
-
on a mans lap.
should be man's.
-
small girls father
girl's

Smiling I looked up
There should be a comma after "Smiling".

I caught glimpse
"I caught a glimpse" I think you'll find, dear.

Using the remote on the wall, I dimmed the lights and turned on the slight vibration under the bed, causing the water inside of it to rock lightly. Between these three ingredients, I was dozing off in no time.

Um, I only count two "ingredients". There's something really quite awkward about the second sentence. Maybe put: "Because of this, I was dozing off in no time at all."

It was if I was
"It was as if"

exhaustion randomly decided to hit me with a hammer of extreme exhaustion

The repetition of exhaustion makes this sentence very awkward. Try to vary the way you say things.

Putting me fast asleep.

A cold chill snaked down my spine, causing me to jump awake.

Try and show that this is a dream. Maybe put a * or a few dashes (---)

I like the fact that he recoginses the wolf. It's really cool. I also like a fact that Connor is like a Mama bear with his protectiveness.

Hope this helps and keep writing!
Auxiira^^

Thanks! Like I said above to Vereen, I tend to make a lot of small mistakes and reading over, I never catch all of them. So thanks again!

User avatar
Auxiira
Comment

I'll review this when I'm not at school, but isn't this chapter 2?

Alright thanks! It'll be helpful! And actually no, I accidentally put Chapters 1 and 2 together. Gonna go change that title to that right now actually. ^_^



Democracy! Bah! When I hear that word I reach for my feather Boa!
— Allen Ginsburg