Chapter 1
Most teenagers go to school everyday, drama, sports, the usual. To bad though...I'm not a normal teenager...Everything, my life, was completely altered, change forever. That one day, that one single day, changed everything. My family, is what you may call rich, but I consider greedy. I was born into a "Noble" family as some call us. I didn't ask to be famous at birth, or targeted to be killed or kidnapped because I was simply "Valuable". Which, is where I'm going to start my story, of my life, and how it turned into something I never, would have expected.
I groaned loudly as I opened my eyes to an irritating alarm clock. I slapped my hand around trying to find the nerve racking object. Failing miserably, I finally looked up and saw it on the ground. Sighing, I leaned over to switch it off. After I threw on some more appropriate clothes to actually go outside, I slipped on some shoes and walked out my door and into the kitchen.
"Hey Mom, Dad, Jim." Jim was our butler, a really nice guy who always put up with my snob of a mother. "What's for breakfast?" I asked taking a glance at each of the three. When I got a return from no other then Jim, I just nodded and said thanks as he set it down in front of me. Normal people's mother's cook for them, help them with homework, normal mom stuff. To bad my mom was always in a world of her own to have any time for her only son. "Mmm. I see you cooked your special this morning Jim. I appreciate the thought."
Jim nodded and replied. "Well this is a big day for you sir." I smiled and set down my fork, staring at Jim.
"Jim, how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me sir. My name is Jason, I ask that you use it." Jim smiled, nodded, and walked out of the kitchen shaking his head jokingly. After inhaling my food, what Jim had said finally dawned on me. "Mom...Dad....what did he mean today is a big day?" As I looked up at the two, I realized they were staring me down the entire time.
"Jason...It's time, we told you something you must know."
I set down my fork and folded my hands together. "Well this should be interesting." I thought to myself.
"You're...well how do I put this. You're not an ordinary kid Jason."
I looked over at him. "Oh really now? I didn't notice. Sorry, but really, you didn't think I already knew that?" My dad looked taken aback and my mom still off in space.
"So you know that you weren't just born into a rich family, you were born into a family who have operated in a special forces team because our family has special "fighting" abilities?" My jaw dropped and I stared at him without saying a word. "Okay, so I guess you didn't know that much..." I stood up and cleaned my plate off.
"Real funny dad, you almost had me there but-"
My dad cut me off before I could finish. "Son, I'm not kidding. You ever wondered why you could sense something right before it hit you or came near you?" Now that he mentioned it...I did seem to have superb and over advanced reflexes that any normal person didn't have, but I thought nothing of it.
"Well yeah, but I guess I kind of ignored it." My dad quickly threw a knife at me and instinctively I caught it within a few inches of my face.
"That my son, is called preflex. Sensing something before it actually happens." I stared at my dad, then back at the knife, then my dad, then the knife, repeating the process about twenty times.
"DAD! YOU JUST THREW A FREAKING KNIFE AT ME!"
My dad smiled. "It didn't hit you did it?"
I kind of stuttered. "Well...no...but still, what if it had?" I set the knife down far away from my father and he smiled at that.
"But it didn't. Look son, because of our over advanced reflexes and other gifts you'll learn that your body excels at better then any else, we have been asked to protect very important people, or V.I.P as you young ones call it." I guess what we had been talking about finally hit me cause my jaw dropped yet again, equally in amazement and shock.
"So...what else, can my body do that I didn't know of?"
"Well, have you ever noticed how fast you were? How high you could jump? How strong you were? Those are a few. The others I'll let you find out for yourself." My dad stood up and motioned for me to follow. I obediently left the kitchen and my mother as she stared blankly at the wall. He led me into the massive library I usually go to when I want to get away from everything. He pulled the spine of a book like in the movies and a hidden bookshelf door opened up.
"What in the world. Is this seriously happening?" My dad ignored me and continued walking as the door closed behind us. As I looked around I noticed weapons, and a lot of them. All kinds of assault rifles, sniper rifles, Berettas, and even mini pistols which could be easily concealed.
"Dad, what is all this? Why...do we have this?" My dad yet again ignored me and it started to really pinch my nerves. Finally he stopped at a huge flatscreen on the wall and turned around to face me.
"I want you to watch this. It will explain everything." He flipped the switch and the lights dimmed down to almost off. The screen flickered then turned on to some man standing behind a podium. As I watched, I noticed, it wasn't any ordinary man, it was the president himself. "If you're watching this Jason, it means it's your seventeenth birthday, and your dad has finally busted the news to you. I know you're probably so lost that it's unreal. But there's something I must tell you beforehand. Smith, is not your real father. I am."
I stared blankly at the TV, completely missing the next few words. I looked over towards my dad, or who I thought was my dad at least. "Is this true?" I asked and he nodded his head with a grim face.
I could feel a knot tightening in my stomach. My head started aching for some unknown reason. I felt so sick to my stomach that I wasn't sure what to think. All these memories, thoughts, flashed through my mind of all the times me and my dad, or who I thought was my dad, had together. I kept telling myself this had to be a dream and that if I pinched myself hard enough I would wake up. I could only look at this man once, and simply that one glance we exchanged brought me to tears. I tried my hardest to hold the pestering liquid iching out of my eyes, but just couldn't do it. My vision blurred as the tears flowed down my face like. I felt like...I didn't know if anything was real, or if anything anyone told me was true. A false sense of reality overcomed me, and the only thing that snapped me out of all of this was my da-...Smith's voice. "Please Jason, continue watching." I focused back onto the TV holding my stomach, holding the emotions back like a dam about to collapse under all the pressure of the water.
"My name is Erick Henry. Jason Henry, I am indeed your father. If you're wondering what just happened, we suspected as much. To explain, there are men after you and your "special talents". The only way to protect you was to allow Mr and Mrs. Noel to watch over you. I'm sorry son, I really didn't mean for any of this to happen. But it is what it is. Now to explain the rest of the story...." As he talked I paid attention, soaking in everyword but also zoning out completely into space. From what I understood, my father is not my actual father, my actual father is or was the president. And apparently, I have genetically enhanced genes and abilities that most people do not obtain. According to my "Father", There is a girl I am supposed to protect. After that part I zoned back in.
"This girl is extremely important Jason, and you will later find out why. But as for now, you must protect her with your life. Do not worry about training, everything, will come natural to you. Goodbye for now my son. Hopefully one day, we will see each other again, in person..."
I sat in complete silence, staring at the blank screen. "Jason...please understand...."
I stood up, without looking at this man who was not who I grew up to believe was, and walked towards the door.
"I'm going for a walk. I'll be back early, I have school tomorrow." As soon as I exited the library and walked out of the door I took off sprinting, as fast as I could, without stopping. I finally had to slow down so I didn't get hit by a car, but as soon as the chance arose I took off again. I finally ended up in my secret spot that no one knew about. I looked over the dome shaped abandoned building, yet in immaculate condition. I stepped forward and opened the door with a small creak as if the door was whining from the lack of opening and closing. I shut the door behind me and flipped the light switch on. The room suddenly lit up in neon lights. There were generated stars and planets, created from a mysterious object in the middle of the room. It felt as if you were in space, and it took my mind off everything or anything that was going on. I walked towards the middle and sat in the most comfortable chair you will ever sit in. All I could do was look around and think. Think about what in the world just happened. I was clueless as to what to do. Apparently I had to protect some girl with my life, and I didn't even know her! I sighed and began feeling my eyes get heavy. I tried my hardest to keep them open, but failed and eventually dozed off into a comfortable sleep...
While this was done in a pretty corny way, it is a very interesting idea. A kid growing up into a family of secret agents? Awesome.
Actually it's kinda like Spy Kids :p
But yeah, I agree with demib below about the paragraph. When the say person speaks twice in a row, it's fine to have some sentences in between, but if more than one person is having a conversation, each statement should be its own paragraph.
Other than that good job and keep on writing! I look forward to future chapters of this novel.
Thanks! I just got home from school so the first thing I corrected was the paragraph issue.
Ah, it's not perfect but definitely better! Good job.
Thanks. Are there anymore issues you see involving the paragraphing that I could fix?
Nothing about the paragraphing that won't correct itself with more writing. Just waiting for the next installement to see what happens :p
Haven't had time to work on it. Most likely will the day after tomorrow!
one complaint my dear i would love it if after every character spoke you would put it in a new paragraph like so down below
"Hey Mom, Dad Jim"
(New paragraph)
"What's for breakfast?"
That way it makes it much easier to read. Other than that nothing wrong that i could see.
Keep Writing! Hawinay
Thanks! Will do.
The idea has a lot of potential and there are many many directions you could go with it, he could succeed, fail, keep those options open and don't let it go down the predictable hero road when it has the start it does. The writing itself is decent, my advice though it may not be professional and what not is to use some more adjectives and to go into a little more depth about the emotional reaction. It's well organized, it has voice, it just needs a bit more flow and character development. Those are the only alterations I would advise making. Keep it going though, I want to know where this ends up.
Thanks! Then I'll work on editing this part a bit more. This is why I posted it, I never would have caught the mistakes you did. I appreciate the feedback!
Also, as for the character reaction, I also edited that and hopefully made it better. If you would please read that part again to tell me what you think? As for the adjectives, I added a few here and there. Next chapter will be much better written though.