Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: So...I have to say I haven't watched much Star Wars so I don't know too much about the fandom itself but I'll try to review this based on its story. And form that this feels a nice simple little scene. Nothing much actually happens in it and nothing much really needs to happen in it anyway. It's just a pretty well done little scene.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Aerne smiled as his turbolift shot up into Upper Coruscant. The metallic world almost seemed heavenly draped in the morning light, but its beauty felt foreign to the soldier, whos whole world seemed to be wrapped in chaos.
Pretty description there to start things off.
Aerne took the time to reflect. The majority of the war was over, or so it seemed, and Luke was trying to re-establish a virtuous republic. The Empire's system of government was in ruins, and violent skirmishes were wreaking havoc across the galaxy. Yet again, Aerne reconsidered his decision to leave the Rebellion and seek out his old life. It was a life of thrills and law breaking, centered around vehicles, technology, and violence.
A decent amount of backstory there.
The turbolift came hissing to a stop, the doors opening with a ding. Aerne stepped out, in his weathered flightsuit, holstered blasters at his side. His bag bore the insignia of the Rebellion. He looked around at the restaruant bar where he had arrived, a vacant dance floor dominated most of the space, stairs in the back led to a second level, most of the windows were opened for lighting, and the only person there was an older duros scrubbing glasses at one of the tables.
Another great description to set the scene here.
"I'm supposed to be meeting someone. They gave me the time and the place, you know anything about it?" Aerne asked, studying the bartenders expression. A hint of understanding crossed across his face, for a split second, before he looked dumb again. "And your name is?"
That feels like he's been unnecessarily vague. Now I'll admit that I don't know if maybe this is a secret meeting but usually if someone would want to be clear about who they are who they are meeting if they are going to hold a meeting in a place like that.
"So, after all these years, Aerne, the noble soldier of the rebellion finds his old pal again." The man teased, as he slowly walked closer to the zabrak. The duros just sat there, grinning as he cleaned cups. Aerne let his hand rest on one of his blasters, unsure about the situation before him. The rebel scrutinized the man and his equipment, and the expression on his tanned face.
Then he let his hand slide off the pistol grip.
The armored man did the same.
The two embraced.
That's a sweet little reunion scene. It definitely feels like two good friends meeting each other after being apart for a few years.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: As a story this was just one tiny scene maybe even just a part of a scene. And for that simple premise and plot you've done a pretty good job here. We definitely get a sense of who these characters are and the bits of dialogue speaking seemed realistic enough except that one point I mentioned.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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