Goodluck not finished getting there though

by ToothPick3

Published February 9, 2014

E - Everyone

In New Must Read

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I see you looking like this thing is
official, must be a referee down blowing hard on his whistle

You sprung over someone who ain’t
even thinking of the issue, might be pregnant over someone who breaks you down
into them tissues

I don’t know, how you could love him like he heaven on earth, once he gets you on your backside, all he doing is lifting your skirt

I know it hurts, I see it through the
mud in the dirt, plant you out there like a flower for everyone to see, then
unbelievable hands, popping on you like fireworks

It’s uneasy for you, while working
from that nine to five; bruises on your body make you wanna turn to homicide

Those thoughts challenge the mind,
while you provide, hands to the little bundle of joy that was once, force between
your thighs

Held in the process while your belly
arise, as you look into the mirror, you see a fatherless child, reflection deep
down inside

Now after nine months of carrying his
child, you look into the newborn’s eyes, pretending like you don’t wanna smile

He so beautiful never thought he
would look like his father; it’s been an honor, raising him on Eminem album but
his daddy promotes the monster

Carry along as the baby’s mind starts
to wonder, growing up without a father, hurts him more than living back home
with his momma

Running away trying to fade back to
the memory day, when he first saw his father face, pushing in his momma place

Asking questions like he never had the chance
to waste, Daddy are you here for me or am I just other space

Without an answer this man turns to
cancer, Deadbeat daddy on the news graduated with his masters

Guidance from the pastors, bless
those who need help after, decisions of making it work, in the happy home
before the train disaster

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
poesiasdeamor
Review
poesiasdeamor wrote a review Review · Sep 9

I really love this song! Impressive word choice. I like the way that it flows, and I love the theme of it. As Strange said, I could see a famous rapper doing this song. At least to me this seems like a rap song, I'm not quite sure if it is or not. I find this song very entertaining and I would definitely have it on my playlist if it was recorded! I can't wait to read the finished lyrics. Amazing work!!

User avatar
deletedaug23
Review
deletedaug23 wrote a review Review · Feb 16, 2014

Hey, Toothpick. Strange here and I have a quick review for you!
Quick note, that guy down there doesn't know anything about reviewing. He's new, so don't mind him. On to the review!
I genuinely liked this. The idea is somewhat dry. It really didn't keep me interested. I had to daze away, and regain my focus. That is one thing you can't fix, and you really don't need to.
Your lyrics are impressive. I could imagine Lucy Spraggan singing this, that's how good it is. The exact words you used made it flow fluently. It's like a river without rocks, and gracious skies. You did great on that part, it's just the idea that didn't work well. This is a song that I would turn the channel, but if it didn't have lyrics like these. You did great. Talking about pregnancy, tragedy, and death overall. Great job, Toothpick.
Overall, great job
Strange gives you...
8.9/10
Great job
Keep writing
Stay groovy, my magnificent friend



Spend your days thinking about things that are good and true and beautiful and noble, and you will become good and true and beautiful and noble.
— Matthew Kelly