z

Young Writers Society



The Visitor

by Tigi


Oh life so dull of thought,
A treasure is no jewel.
In stars it twinkels like the day,
A forest has no thorns.
He told of days memory does not hold,
A dream is so like life.
No tale but imagination his,
A flower draws no wasp.
I sat in wonder true to my ears,
A window is an eye.
His eye so bright it reflected me,
A jewl is not a crown.

I got a little bored and had a lot of oximorons and random lines in my head, here is the result! :)

Tigi x


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
316 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 316

Donate
Fri May 25, 2007 3:10 am
whence wrote a review...



Well, random lines in your head become random lines on a piece of paper. Not any better.

My recommendation is to keep them in your head (or better yet: right down ideas you have in a notebook) until you think of an actual subject for your poem[s]. Then you can call on these additional images to sprinkle on your work, and weave them into your theme. Happy writing.
~Ed




User avatar
182 Reviews


Points: 1050
Reviews: 182

Donate
Fri May 25, 2007 2:12 am
Chandni wrote a review...



Hehe, this is very random indeed. I can't help but sink in the tragic randomness you've created here. Try sorting out your mind, seeing the line apart from each other is half as bad as seeing them together.

You've got potential, show some of it ;)

Cheerios, Chandni





You are strong enough to conquer this day and the rest of your life.
— Tuckster