Published February 2, 2015
The doll lies
On the hospital floor.
The girl was its owner.
Now it has an owner
No more.
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Canary word: Present
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141,690 Literary Works • 675,575 Reviews
Heya, Chrissy here for the shortest review in the history of YWS.
All I have to say, what happened to the girl? I assume she's dead, but how did she die? Was she hurt, car-wreck, cancer, one of the thousand other things that happen to a person? You could use that to put a little more on this piece.
Well, as the positive feedback, I have to say that I love the use of the doll. It puts a nice image in our heads.
KEEP WRITING!
Although this poem was short, it held a lot of emotion. It was very well written and causes the reader to really think. Capturing such emotion in five lines is not an easy task, good job!
-eva
This is very short so I won't have much to say, but wow.
Even though it's as small as it is, it got dark quickly. It's actually really good for something as short as it is, and very powerful. Especially the word choice at the end. Just an abrupt "No more." Good job, you definitely wrote something quite dark in only 5 lines.
~Prez. T