Published February 25, 2010
Note: This is...unfinished...I believe, I'd like it to be longer. But tell me if you guys think it should be, it would help me a ton.
Edit: Fixed the lines that seemed off, any better?
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Slowly spinning a crystal wire
Strung along with rainbow sapphires
A lovely web that none may see...
The tempting end for many and me.
A spider writer spinning lies
Creating a world beyond your eyes.
But so many before have fallen prey
And most likely today it's your turn to play.
Your turn to play among his lies,
And become prey,like the flies.
You'll play fool, just like them
And into his trap you fall yet again.
A spider writer spinning lies,
Poetry that let you see behind,
Creating a world that wasn't there,
A dazzling veil to blind your eyes.
I should have known to be more wary,
He wasn't real, with those cunning words,
He played me like you and now I despise,
That crystal web and rainbow lies.
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Been a while since I've written anything, feel free to tear it to shreds!
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Thank you! Grr, I stared at it for hours and was just like "Ya know what, Imma ask YWS."
Lol, thanks so much.
The red lines are lines that are off in rhythm.
The yellow lines are ones that I dislike due to content.
And the blue phrases are ones I really liked.
Regarding the first line of the last stanza, the "Stupid me" is a little harsh. It just doesn't seem to fit.