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125,005 Literary Works • 672,808 Reviews
I don't think you need the semi-colon here. i think that a comma would've been just fine!
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OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
so, I totally get that you british spell your recognize with an "S" and realize with an "S" as well. That's cool. I've always wanted to be British, by the way.
Secondly, this is a good start. I liked your descriptions of everything, much better than I could ever do. I'll have to keep an eye out for this story. And ThienThienThien, nice signature!
LaReina
So far so good! I loved the imagery and all the details. I also liked how the first part of this was almost from the point of view of the rain, then shifts over to Riley's perspective. Not so sure what's going on yet, but I'm getting an idea with all the weather references and such. Anyway, can't wait to read the rest!
Yeah! That's how we British spell it
But thanks for critting!
[quote="Sonlen"]
Your main problem are spelling errors, you spell recognize recognize, not recognise. You have the same problem with the word realize, you are replacing the Z's with S's.
quote]
Haven't read the story yet, but noticed this.
Actually, the "spelling mistake" you speak of isn't a mistake; it's the standard way of spelling in British English. Quite a few words are spelled differently across the pond, and it's not a mistake to spell in one way or the other unless you're trying to, say, write a novel set in America but spell everything the British way, or vice versa.
I'll probably go back and read the actual story, now that I've commented...but don't expect a full-blown review until this month comes to an end; I've got too much on my plate right now.
I don't really get the idea yet, but I can sorta tell where this is going, and from what I've inferred, it's gonna be good.
Your main problem are spelling errors, you spell recognize recognize, not recognise. You have the same problem with the word realize, you are replacing the Z's with S's.
I like your writing, the nobody noticed the weird weather bits keep me hooked, that type of description kept me hooked from the first paragraph. One thing, though, you might want to try to make it a bit more interesting. People like me can only read maybe the first chapter of a book if nothing has happened. You need to hook the reader and keep them hooked. In order to explain my contradiction of myself, the "weird weather" bits were really the only things that kept me hooked. Keep workin' on it!