Half the time,
I'm half convinced I'm dying.
A cough of pink and a frantic google
search to tell me that I should be half convinced. But at least it's only half.
Maybe I will end up in the hospital tomorrow,
I hope I never go there at all.
But I hope if I am half hopeful
It is not my whole life spent,
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142,101 Literary Works • 676,633 Reviews
This is pretty good. I feel like it shows a good sense of what a lot of people experience with their anxiety, myself included. It felt well written and easy to under and relate to. I really like this. It made me feel less crazy about my own anxiety struggles.
I'm glad that you enjoyed it, and am both sorry and happy you are able to relate.
I really like this poem, the opening has a strong concept! I love how you use repetition on "half", it establish the speaker's uncertainty. How they're not entirely convinced they're dying but they aren't entirely convinced that they're fine either. But it sounds a little awkward. I feel like adding a comma and a period could "fix" it. Like you could say,
"Half the time,
I'm half convinced I'm dying." instead. But of course this is just a suggestion. Your work is good, I enjoyed it
Thanks for your suggestion!
I changed it, and I agree it helps a lot, it makes it feel as stilted as the rest of it.