Author's note: This was written by my sister, when she was given five words as a writing exercise. So this isn't mine, but she's posting it through my account. She's trying to purposely make no sense and the Philharmonic French Doors title she wanted to try and bring out the stupidity of this student. She must really hate school, or she has the perfect idea for a first day. xD
My spelling teacher asked me what philharmonic meant. Since I didn’t want to appear ignorant I replied that it was the name of a very expensive French door that could only be acquired in Berlin, the capital of Las Vegas.
I could never understand why she recommended me to a doctor that specialized in some fancy word that I can’t remember and can only assume was highly insulting.
When my science teacher asked me what a comet was I replied, into the stunned silence, that it was a special kind of adverb. Later on that day I got slapped when I asked somebody what the words the teacher had said actually meant.
During math class, Mr. Baret, asked me if I would oblige him by doing a small problem at the chalk board. I informed him that I would not.
When he insisted, I moved slowly to the front of the room. Later on when I asked why I had received an F- for my troubles, he replied that multiplication had nothing to do with sharing or nouns.
For lunch I had a half melted snickers bar I had retrieved from the inside of my friend Fillmore’s soccer shoe, frozen microwave lasagna as I had forgotten the microwave, and some Chinese noodles that came from Japan, which my mom used to put on her salad before she sprained her ankle and died of cancer.
During recess I accidently set off the fire alarm. In ten minutes there was two fire trucks parked outside and the entire building had been evacuated.
Nobody had believed me when I said that I had just bumped it. It may have been because the glass cover was broken and there was a metal stake lying next to it.
By the time everything had calmed down, it was past three. Everybody, including me, piled into the buses and went home.
During the drive I serenaded the entire bus with one-hundred bottle of beer on the wall and managed to open the escape door as well.
It’s hard to believe that it’s only the first day of school.
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125,015 Literary Works • 672,848 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Well this is a story that's very different to most that I've read and honestly I absolutely loved it. I mean, it doesn't seem to have any purpose to it at all but its just so much fun to read and leaves you with a smile on your face. We desperately need there to be more stories like this on this site.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well I love this story already....we're definitely getting a very clear picture right away of exactly what this story is meant to be like and ahh..I love it.
Okay...well..the first part was ridiculously funny...then oh dear...getting slapped for that...well..I suppose it could be much worse in a story where literally anything can happen.
Okay...this is getting more hilarious by the minute....I'm loving it...you definitely achieve some true randomness there in that previous paragraph.
That got slightly nasty there for a second, not gonna lie.
Well that went incredibly well for someone that "accidentally" summoned the fire department.
Well...that's an insane first day for sure.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, I think this was just a really fun idea. And yeah...I don't really much to add to this review down here.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hi there Therese's little sister! Since she has a lot of sisters, I don't know which one this is. Either way, I hope you like this review
I have to say, I like the idea of having five words and then making a story from them. I will let you in one a little secret - half the short stories I have posted on YWS come from three random words and then I string them together xD It's a great way to make a story.
Now I shall proceed to tell you why I love, love, LOVE your story
First of all, it's bleeding creativity. This student manages to find out all the ways she can cause mischief, or get things wrong, that she possibly could do. We never get to know why she does them, but in some ways I rather like it. I think it's good that we never get to know why she does what she does, and I feel like it might take some of the magic out of the story. I do wonder how she managed to find a stake at school though, to smash the fire alarm safety glass with...
The next thing I really love is the style. You're simply listing the things she has done, and it is incredibly blunt. Extremely blunt, to the point where she mentions her mothers old ritual and the fact that she died in one sentence with no emotion whatsoever. I thought the bluntness reflected her character perfectly, and again, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I will now give you my little tibits of feedback, although there isn't much for me to say in the first place!
Because you used couldn't in the beginning of this is all written in past tense, this sentence needs to keep with that. So all the 'can't's' and 'can's need to become couldn't's and could's.
I also wondered, for when she is talking to a teacher, or at least the first time she does at the beginning of the chapter, why not use direct speech instead of indirect? It would make the story more interesting and also a little bit longer. I wanted to know exactly what they were saying instead of hearing about it like they discussed this all a while ago. It would just help create more immediacy, even if this is written in past tense. Trust me, it's possible
I don't understand? Why would she get slapped for asking a simple question to another classmate? Maybe you could have something after this sentence like 'maybe it wasn't best to as Betty, the school bully, for help.' Which would give us more of a reason, and still be working within the bluntness style we have going here.
Just is such a meh word xD Not creative enough for a story like this! How about accidently instead?
I think you need to have in this sentence 'entire bus with the song...' so that everyone knows it is a song. Also, bottles is a plural, so that all important 's' is needed on the end. The final thing I will say about that phrase as well, is that the song needs to have capital letters. It is a title, after all!
All in all, there really wasn't that much for me to say. It was a fantastic piece of work. Keep this type of writing up. It's perfection <3
Deanie x
xD Ohh, Christina wrote this one. Hee hee she was asking if you were going to review it. I'll show this to her Livvy! Thank youuuu!
Hello ThereseCricket/sister!
Though a bit confusing, this was kind of funny. Though I haven't the foggiest idea what philharmonic means, you portrayed your confusion well. One of my theories why it is a little confusing, is that you figured out a new way to pass on your character's emotions on to the readers! Since the character is confused, now we are too!
~Kelpies.
haha, that makes sense a bit Kelpies! Although, since my sis wrote this, I have basically nooo idea her intentions for this. xD Thanks for reviewing!
Happy September Review Day!!
I'm beginning with the end. And oh my goodness, I love this line. It's really funny. After reading all that I was thinking how could this even happen? And then I find out it happens in one day? Priceless.
At first I thought that this was a genuine complaint about teachers being rude when you don't understand something. I still feel a little bit like it is, but after finishing it, it seems like it's a comedy piece.
I like all the examples of the problems this girl has faced. It seems like trouble follows her everywhere. I especially enjoyed the fire alarm scene.
I don't have any nitpicks, so good job!
Yeah, my sis is actually homeschooled so she has basically nooo experience when it comes to teachers and how they work and stuff. She writing it for the pure fun and entertainment of it. xD I'll be sure to have her read this! Thanks!
Jeez!
Your sister has real talent in expressing through words.
I was actually imagining myself telling my teacher about these special doors found in Berlin, the capital of Las Vegas (winks)
So, in short, it was great!
Thanks! I'll be sure to tell her!
I'm curious... What were the five words?
Sharing, Philharmonic, doors, comet, and understand. xD
Saddest students ever, tell your sister this is a great story.
Thanks! I will.
^^Nemo wrote this
XD It was actually my little sister. Thanks for the like though!
what
Umm, my little sister wrote this, when she was given five words to play with. xD