Young Writers Society

This poem truly shows the determination of teaching pride in natural to a daughter, which makes it rather moving. I get a sense that societal guidelines was the moving motivation to write this, only because it's rather controversial and the tone just tells it all. I love the approach you took writing this, especially the continuous metaphors. Absolutely gorgeous! I'll be sure to take a look at your other work if you have any. I'm in awe, really great job.

Hello Tuesday here for a review. i like to begin that this poem made me cry; not like a happiness cry, but cry since this poem could relate to the mothers and daughters out there since the mothers teach their daughters how they see the world or the struggles that one person can have in this world. Also similes in here are wonderfully used since you use things in nature as something for her long legs or short legs also the tone of this is happiness or wisdom to the daughter (to when she is grown).

Nitpick(s):

Wether they be blue as tidal waves

Hey - I'm Lupin, and I just want to say that this poem is beautiful. Seriously. I'm not great at reviewing, and the only couple things I'd change would be a couple spelling errors but that's nothing serious. I'd rather talk about why I loved it so much.

To start, the rhythm. The flow of this is incredible! I think that's important, as it shows how the future parent will love their future daughter, with an unconditional love. Also, there is a resounding personal feel throughout this poem. This personal feel really helps develop the meaning - my interpretation is that girls should love their appearance and that not every characteristic is necessarily a flaw - and I love the lines "That nothing is more graceful than the lines that circle her eyes Which tell the story of a life well lived" for this in particular.

The comparison of the daughter to nature is really amazing - I liked the use of "sunflowers" and "blades of grass" to describe her legs.

Pieces of work like these are so important at this time in the world, when women/girls are subjected to so many standards regarding their appearance that they are supposed to uphold, and thus I feel the message behind this poem is a great one. Excellent job.

wow thank you all so much! these kind comments mean a lot to me as does the helpful criticism!

Besides whether being spelled incorrectly, and a couple of punctuation errors, I find this poem to be truly endearing. I feel like it brought out so much emotion for love for myself as a mother and for my child. It even brought a tear into my eye, which is rare because I am used to reading so much, it takes a certain something to get me to really feel it. Great job! Wonderful talent, keep developing it for sure!!!

Hello

I liked this a lot. A very genuine and pure poem. I'm not so amazing at writing poems, I try though, so maybe that's why I loved it jk it was actually nice.

So, the title was plain but catchy. It caught my attention because it is somewhat relative. In poems, we need to use commas. And full stops, at appropriate places, which you apparently didn't do.

Never mind, I really liked how you personified and compared parts of your future daughter with various things, that's a tendency all good poets have, to personify and make it more attractive and you did that job well.

Well, overall I loved it, and I learnt something from it, so keep writing and keep smiling

It is a great poem, just loved reading it. Every line is so beautifully crafted that is seems as if written with immense care and sensitivity. It talks about accepting yourself as you are in the world which believes so much in show off. I loved the concept.
"are like brush strokes on a canvas " is my favorite line.
A simple poem which is determined to have a profound impact on the reader. Last lines talk about a change making it more touching and enchanting. It is worth reading is many times.
You can become a very great poet.

This poem is so great. You are very talented. The way you paint a vivid description makes the words come alive. Your daughter or at least if you have a daughter in the future I know she will be loved. She is blessed to have someone like you. Before she even knows it, she is loved. This is a great way that you have expressed yourself toward someone so special and not only that you would want her to teach her daughter to love herself the same way. Once again, this is a brilliant poem with great imagery.

I got teary :'( its so sweet...I love the poem so much. Soon, I know you will be a great mother this poem is like, "I want to read this" because this poem is so good. You gave me teary. But there is a small mistake in this poem like:

"Whether they be blue as tidal waves"

I think you got a typo here:

The word "Wether" is suppose to be "Whether"

Overall its a very beautiful poem and I could just read this every day and learn how to be a mother one day

Awwwww this is really sweet! I personally would love someone to do this for me, so the thought of raising a child like this is wonderful, and you wrote it well. The ending is simple and sweet, and just what I would have expected.
Now, on a thinner note, the punctuation is off. I understand you're a beginner so it's hard, but just look up and read an article online, it'll make it easier, promise.
Wether they be blue as tidal waves
Quick nitpick, Wether is spelled with an h, Whether.
The format is good, a nice amount of rhymes without it being forced, and the narration is done well perspectivly. It flows REALLY well, no REALLY. I wasn't drawn from the poem because of choppy lines or words, and I'm grateful for that. It was lovely to read, thank you!
~Authorian