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Not Alone Anymore

by TheWordsOfWolf


Please note that I am by no means any kind of expert on panic attacks, sensory overload, or service dogs. I'm writing from my own experiences with them and what I have witnessed.

Zayel was running, as fast as he could, as far as he could.

He tripped. He didn’t get up. He didn’t want to get up. He wanted to sleep, to cry to scream.

Why was he hot and cold at the same time? His hands were burning, his feet were cold. Why was everything so loud?

He pushed himself back against the wall, tucking his knees under his chin. He tried to cover his ears but it didn’t help. Couldn’t everything just stop spinning? Couldn't it just be quiet?

He slammed his head into the wall. Maybe that would help. It did? It did not. He whimpered, but not from the pain. Again he slammed his head into the wall. And- no, not again. 

Zayel was not alone anymore. He was not alone anymore. Zayel ran fast but so did Courage.

 Gently, the dog nudged Zayel’s trembling body until he was laying down and then crawled on top of him. Staying there and keeping her body between his head and the wall.

Zayel was not alone anymore. 


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232 Reviews


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Sat Nov 06, 2021 4:56 pm
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MissGangamash wrote a review...



Hello! I have seen some videos of how service dogs help with sensory overloads and panic attacks, they are amazing!

I agree with HarryHardy that you could definitely expand on this. Maybe start with why Zayel was having a panic attack. Maybe them being in a situation they wanted to leave but felt like they couldn't and then finally got the courage to remove themselves as they felt their panic attack coming on. Then them trying to get away somewhere quiet and alone as the attack hits them full force. And then the dog coming to help. That would then make this piece have a beginning, middle and end, rather than this being a snapshot of a situation. It still works but it would be better for the readers to have at least a little connection to the character beforehand so we can feel something.

Hope this helps :D






Hey, thanks for the review. I can honestly say it never occured to me to add more at the beginning!



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Sun Oct 24, 2021 2:10 pm
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MC wrote a review...



Good <insert time period greeting here>!
Allow me to review your work.
To start I Quite enjoyed this little story. It was short, and was engaging. It was quite informative to read what it's like to have panic attacks or sensory overload, since I haven't read up or seen it happen before. So it was quite something to read.

I like how the ending was wholesome and showed a glimmer of hope for Zayel that he could get better. Thought it will be hard, and will take a long time till it does. Also can I mention what a good boy Courage is. Anyway Overall it was very good and there was nothing to fault and I quite enjoyed it.
Thanks for reading.
-MC






Hey! thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I love your interpretation!



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Sun Oct 24, 2021 8:34 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Zayel was running, as fast as he could, as far as he could.

He tripped. He didn’t get up. He didn’t want to get up. He wanted to sleep, to cry to scream.

Why was he hot and cold at the same time? His hands were burning, his feet were cold. Why was everything so loud?


Hmm, this is a nice start here. There's some very powerful feelings being brought across to us right away and the fact that we also don't have too much of an established setting ensures the focus lies heavily on our character here with it all being a little bit zoomed in almost. The quick short descriptions of what he's going through rings through rather nicely and paints a nice picture of pain and desperation here which appear to be the main thing you're try to convey and it does really come across rather well here to start things off.

He pushed himself back against the wall, tucking his knees under his chin. He tried to cover his ears but it didn’t help. Couldn’t everything just stop spinning? Couldn't it just be quiet?

He slammed his head into the wall. Maybe that would help. It did? It did not. He whimpered, but not from the pain. Again he slammed his head into the wall. And- no, not again.

Zayel was not alone anymore. He was not alone anymore. Zayel ran fast but so did Courage.
]

Well this part continues to build nicely off the start, with a nice sense of escalation going on with this panic attack of sorts that we have going on here. I really like the way you're bringing this across here. It really nails home the fear and the confusion that comes along with this sort of things and the reader can truly just how much of a horrible situation this is swiftly becoming here.

Gently, the dog nudged Zayel’s trembling body until he was laying down and then crawled on top of him. Staying there and keeping her body between his head and the wall.

Zayel was not alone anymore.


I see that's where the title comes from. This is a nice little ending. I feel like it's maybe a little too quick for the wholesomeness of this moment to really come through. With the amount of good buildup on the end of this whole panic and everything that went wrong, this doesn't feel like it's sufficient to counter all of that but it is a really nice little scene here. All in all, a fun little story to read. I really liked the happy ending there as well.

Overall, I'd just say its a simple piece that doesn't try to do too much and does most of what it wants to do pretty well. I'd only suggest touching up and lightly expanding upon that ending, the rest pretty much is really good as is :D

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry






Hey thanks for the review I really appreciate it. I do see how this could stand to be a bit longer although I'm not entirely sure what to expand on so if you have any ideas please let me know as I intend to rewrite this soon.



HarryHardy says...


You're Welcome!!

Ohh, well, mostly I'd suggest the last few lines with the dog coming in could do with some expanding. Maybe a little more of his feelings as the dog comforts him, maybe a description there about how the dog's fur and such felt to his skin...just a little something to give that part of the story a bit more weight. Right now it feels a bit too short to really counter the negative emotions set up earlier.





Ah, alright thank you!



HarryHardy says...


No problem :D



HarryHardy says...


No problem :D




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