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I love this poem so much! The deep and sorrowful meaning in it, it's just amazing!
Agony, Suffering, Depression and heartbreak are all reflecting throughout the novel. It's terrible beauty! It's just amazing! I love the imagery on the first paragraph. The simile, The imagery, the rhyme at the end also, they fit perfectly and what's the greatest thing about this is that. Emotions and heart was given all into this. I could feel the sorrow within it and it's just beautiful. I love it!
Keep up the good work! Don't stop writing and be happy in life no matter what
You are a great writer! And you will still be if you continue these sensitive, yet beautiful style of poetry

Yo. Let's jam.

Part One.

This is the closest you come to substantial poetry in all of your allotted sections. That said, it's wordy and clunky and melodramatic. Your greatest tool to revise this section is to pick out the words that can either leave or be toned down. Off the top of my scan, I'd say spontaneously can go altogether; the phrase that shield the heavens from the Earth's impurities is too much and needs to be reduced. The ending phrase "that burn my brain" is too simple in juxtaposition with the remainder of this section to the point where it feels like a letdown. Give it some attention when revising/expanding/developing.

Part Two.

This section is boring and pointless. You have your final line that's trying so hard to say what it is, but the remainder is so juvenile that you've squandered the power that could belong to this one line. Find a better way to present your ideas in advance of this final line.

Part Three.

This isn't a bad couplet. My edit would be changing 'never' to 'didn't' since you only said no once. I'd like to see the expanded version of this.

Part Four.

Basically, you found love in the shambles of a failed relationship. I can work with this; however, I'm not a fan of the rhyme. It feels forced, even in this loose environment.

I hope this helps.
Lumi