Published April 4, 2014
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139,409 Literary Works • 672,558 Reviews
Heya, victorianbeauty here to give you a review!
I really like this piece as it shows emotion in a really distant way which is really hard to do. There's a reason you don't see it that often. You totally pulled it off, though. 
Okay, enough talk! Let's review!
This is a beautiful part of the piece. My favorite line is "People stopped talking, mute was the
local language." One thing I noticed is the second line. It probably wouldn't be considered cliche before the Hunger Games but it definitely is now.
I didn't really understand this line. How do roots grow distant? If they have been turned into stone, haven't they stopped growing? Another thing is the fact that you used the same word twice in one sentence. You used the word "grow" twice. Big no-no. It makes the piece sound redundant, instead of making it flow.
Okay, let's be realistic. I really doubt Medusa turned people into concrete. You might want to think of a different word than that.
This is one of the best repetitive phrases I have ever heard. Love it!!
Okay, I think this is it. I hope it wasn't too nit-picky.
Thanks for reviewing
You're welcome!
Hi, Chips here to review.
This was actually a very insightful piece of poetry. I liked how it was almost written like an ancient story and being summarized, it could be interpreted as the state of society.
"Each person was lost in their own
little world, with their own thoughts
that you'd never know about.
I looked around me and found
that these people were concrete
and their hearts had turned into stone."
I liked this verse best, it held the most emotion in my opinion, it created a slight loneliness and sadness to the mood and atmosphere, a good closing.
Reminds me of Medusa- the people she turned to stone. Anyways, great, great poem. Good length, good tone.
Few things for my review: "roots grew distant" actually seemed like a contrary phrase to your aimed meaning. Im not sure, but it seemed you meant they didnt grow, but you actually used the word grow in that description of the plants giving up.
Is this a technical zeitgeist criticism? I see it as that- a critique of the modern age and generation.
Anyways, good poem. Thanks for posting! Keep it up!
I thought of the Hunger Games at the second line hahah. This was an awesome poem. Deep and original piece of work, well done. My favourite line would have to be;
People stopped talking, mute was the
local language.
I dunno, it was just cool, clever. I dunno.
Medusa is an interesting character in Greek mythology, so that makes the poem even better. Haha! Funnily enough, a lot of the Hunger Games is based off Greek mythology!
Nice job!
Nice poem, my friend. When I read the first line, it made me think of Game of Thrones. I only recently started watching that show. I read this and I felt goosebumps. Goosebumps, when was the last time I felt goosebumps from reading a poem or story? I'd have to think about that one. You set up a very interesting mood for this. I actually felt the coldness, the melancholy of this poem. I usually leave a critique with my reviews so I'll see what I can do to help. The only thing that really threw me off were these two lines,
"People stopped talking, mute was the
local language."
I think that you stopped the first of these two lines at an awkward time, and started the next one at the wrong time. I felt that you could take everything from the first line after the comma and put it in the next line. Other than this small thing, this was really well-written. I was impressed by your imagery.