Published August 18, 2011
The World knows no consequence,
for in all its knowledge,
it lacks common sense
and control of itself.
Population grows and
populants explode
with mouths pointed
towards an empty sky.
A mark in time,
or a blemish,
if you must,
shares fewer words
than a time of silence
and peaceful, lonely recognition.
Our minds think superior thoughts
and our hearts feel superior love,
but what of the primitive?
The animalistic? Instinctive?
We are man.
We've lost true heart and mind.
Forever lost, no regaining time.
That is, until the Earth revives.
Just a poem I wrote at camp a while back. Nearly forgot about it. Hopefully it's not too terrible.
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139,421 Literary Works • 672,559 Reviews
Hi there!
Okay, I seriously disagree with this being "terrible"! This is really good! The poem flows great, the stanzas are in awesome shape, the poem itself is awesome! I don't think there are any nit-picks in this poem to be pointed out, so great! Awesome job and keep it up!
- gleek456 <3
"Too terrible"? "Too terrible"??? Honey, this is a gorgeous poem! The imagery is beautiful and vivid, and the message is very different to a lot of the poetry you can find around here. I love it!
It's just so vivid and descriptive and the rhyming scheme is great!My favourite bit would have to be
The single, solitary thing that I picked up was the capitalising of "World". I'm not sure if this was because you wanted to emphasise it, but usually only Earth is capitalised
Keep writing, 'cause you're definitely good at it!
xx SilverLove
I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love this partWe are man.
We've lost true heart and mind.
Forever lost, no regaining time.
That is, until the Earth revives.