Petal by petal drop, the wind blowing;
Ever wandering, calm colours showing.
Red, full of colour glows full of emotion;
Weeping red, a beautiful saddening motion.
Each petal unique, dripping duller,
Losing life they held, trickling colour.
Curling up in shame, as death is cheating;
Tis too late to heal the silent retreating.
Falling silently, landing with a deafening
Silence, humming and screeching.
Memory’s lost its taste, a visual sound
Darkened, deafening and fading profound.
I’ve only held a rose from you.
‘Thank you’ is not enough, too.
So much to say, so few, little words,
Falling back on my belief of birds.
So much I want to say, no rejoice;
Stuck between silence and noise.
The first to give me a rose,
The honour is in you I suppose.
Rigid, deep dark colour; in a fragile pose;
A message. Alone, on spilt water lies a rose.
All other colours begin to wilt.
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Canary word: Present
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
Hi there, happy review day! Crim here to review your poem.
I really love some of the imagery in this poem and some of the vocabulary that you've used: 'Curling up in shame,' and 'trickling colour' stand out especially. I think the rhyming couplets that you've used are very effective in the beginning of the poem because you've still managed to create a steady, wonderful flow that keeps the poem ticking on nicely. However I felt like this is a little bit lost at times where you've struggled to find a word that will rhyme with the previous one. I felt this to be especially the case in the line:
'Falling back on my belief of birds.'
It's a beautiful line, but it doesn't really seem to fit with the theme of the rose (correct me if I'm wrong though, I could be missing the point) but it seems as though you've just tried to find a rhyme for the word 'words'. It took me out of the picture and made me question the whole poem in general really.
Other than that nitpick, I think that this is a really great poem, your spelling and punctuation is flawless.
Keep writing,
Crim
This si a very nice poem which I really enjoyed. My favorite flower is a rose so nice job on writing a poem about that. From the beginning of this you had my attention. I couldn't stop reading it. It was so well written that I just had to keep on reading it and couldn't put it down. The word choice is fantastic really brings out the imagery in this piece. The best thing I liked about this piece is the way in which you made it rhyme that stood out for me. Very well down. There was no errors that I could find so well done. Hope this review helps you in some way. I can't wait for your next poem or piece of writing. Great Job.
. Keep up the good work and maybe one day you could get your poems published.
Hey there Kat here to write a review for you on this lovely review day! Go Reviewlution!
So what really drew me to this was rhyme. Rhyme always makes a poem more enjoyable when used properly. At first I was going to be like, ninth line doesn't flow right! Then I kept reading and wow. This is an AMAZING poem. The best I have reviewed all day! The way you wrote it.. the rhythm and rhyme just kind of seeped into each other giving you room to express your idea freely. I like how at first you just describe the rose SO beautifully and perfect that I could picture it in my mind in every detail that you described it and then you went on to give your poem more meaning than just a rose. You gave the reader a sense of the more in depth personal meaning behind this writing. A rose from a friend, a lover? what wonderful meaning does such a lovely flower hold for this writer? or is it something tragic that started happy as the second to last line might suggest? Just really my comments on an excellent work. Bravo! I look forward to reading more.
~Kat
Hi!
Very nicely done! I honestly cannot find any errors in the work! Your description and imagery was superb, as well as your diction. The punctuation was perfect and there was a clear rhythm in the poem, as well as a very clever rhyming scheme. Keep up the good work!