Published May 26, 2011
Marijuana is nice.
It’s simple. You forget.
Your brain shuts down.
It doesn’t bother
Thinking about your
Failures with Her
And how they happened
or why they happened.
It’s nice.
Alcohol is the nectar of the gods.
Well, the people who want to feel like gods
You see, everyone loves you
Unlike when you’re
Sober. You’re
The life of the party, the lady killer; the
Man who everyone wants
To be:
Shots of whiskey,
Red Bull and vodka. are great
If yo=u want to get drunk
As fast as possible; be
cause you can drink them so quick
A}nd you feel so
Much better than when you
Did’nt drink them
Ecstasy is great for a few hours.
Everything is electric and warm.
You are completely happy about everything.
Who cares about Her,
When that light show is the greatest thing you’ve ever seen with your eyes ever.
And that dubstep banging from the speakers speaks to your soul.
You are the happiest you’ve ever been for the longest time you’ve ever been happy.
It’s such an amazingly fantastical drug and you wish you could always be on it forever.
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It's kind of incomplete. I was thinking of adding other major drugs (heroin, cocaine, maybe LSD), but need to do a bit more research on how I can relate the feelings those drugs give you to my theme. And by research, I don't mean taking those drugs.
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Thanks for the review. All of the mistakes (other than the question mark in the 3rd stanza) were intentional. I was trying to show through syntax, structure, or wording the feelings of being under the influence of that particular drug. The first stanza (weed), was very short, small, compact. You're not able to think very much, or very quickly, so there's not much in that stanza. The second stanza (alcohol) is very sloppy, with strange line breaks, random characters, and poor/wrong punctuation. It also kind of rambles, much like a drunk man would. The 3rd stanza (ecstasy) has long lines filled with the ultimate descriptors; ever, most amazing, forever, etc. Everything is so amazing and perfect. Each lines leaves you breathless, much like doing anything on ecstasy.
This is a really great poem. I didn't find many mistakes but I would like to point out those that I did.
Anyway, I hope it helped. happy writing!