My big brother

by TheTaco101
  • March 28, 2012
  • Poetry
  • Realistic
You came into my life,
A good friend of mine
Today I look up at you
An older brother of mine

You talk a lot,
You are very loud,
I don't agree with you a lot,
But I trust you a whole lot


You're a bit older,
Being four years older than I
I can be open with you
You will protect me

You treat me good
You are kind to me
But, you are still obnoxious
You older brother of mine

You don't like that I'm getting married
You think he will pull us apart
And I will pull you two apart
But, don't worry
I'll still be your little sis

I have to look up
To see your face
But you're a good brother
No matter what happens

You help me through life
Like a brother should
Even if you're not really related to me,
I still think of you as such

Thank you for the aids,
Advice too,
And I will keep doing what I do
To you, my big brother.
Comments & reviews · 1
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Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review · Wed Mar 28, 2012 4:13 pm

I really liked this poem! It had a really nice message and it was cute. But there were a few things I would change.

In the first stanza you used 'mine' twice and I didn't like that.

In the second stanza you used 'a lot' quite a lot XD I would change that too.

Apart from those two things there wasn't a whole lot I would change.

It was a good poem! I liked it!

Deanie x


TheTaco101
TheTaco101 replied · Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:11 am

Thanks. I guess i couldn't think of any other words to describe it, you know? But thanks so much! I think my big brother will like it :D



Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.
— Lyndon B. Johnson