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16+ Mature Content

Ahsoka Tano - Two (Revised)

by Riverlight


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

Trigger Warning: Funeral

»»——⍟——««

1,253 Words

»»——⍟——««

Ahsoka had created a makeshift sling using some old clothes that Obi-Wan had found for her. On her back, Leia lay sleeping, cooing every now and again. Across her chest, Luke suckled on a bottle that Ahsoka was feeding him, his bright blue eyes smiling up at the Togruta. His tiny hands were gently wrapped around hers, as though the baby were pretending to hold the bottle on his own.

"So precious," she quietly breathed to herself. "It'll be okay, little Luke. I promise."

She lifted her head and watched as the funeral procession began. Padmé's casket was being pulled by several large creatures called Gualarr, quadrupeds with white fur, black eyes, and one large, curled horn. Ahsoka recognized Jar Jar Binks, a member of the Republic Senate, leading the large group. The Naboo Queen followed, alongside her guard and several other politicians.

"These are the people you would've met if things had been different," Ahsoka said to Luke. "These are the people your mother would've wanted you to grow up knowing..." The little blue-eyed baby cooed at her in reply, pushing the bottle away from his mouth in a firm yet gentle motion. "Full already?" The Togruta grinned at the child and gently began to bounce him. "You'll grow up to be big and strong one day, just like your father... I promise."

Ahsoka turned her attention back to the funeral procession. Bail Organa and other members of the Senate were following the casket towards the Naboo capital, Theed. The skies were dark and heavy with rain. The air felt cool and dry against Ahsoka's skin. She had come close to the procession despite warnings from Obi-Wan and Master Yoda; for some reason, it felt important to have Padmé's children at the funeral.

"How am I supposed to make myself something I'm not?" she asked the babe across her chest. "Do you think I can really do this, Luke?" The child smiled up at her and tugged at her lekku, eyes bright and cheery. "You look so much like Anakin... And your sister looks like Padmé..." Ahsoka closed her eyes and pictured them both in her head, alive and well... together. "I wish that you would be able to know them as I did, little one. But that's no an option, is it? No, not an option at all..."

Ahsoka turned back towards Organa's ship, which had been hidden in the mountains, Leia gently bouncing on her back while she swayed Luke in her arms. The hill wasn't too steep, but nonetheless she was careful with every step, fearful that one wrong move would result in disaster. As she passed over the crown of the hill, Ahsoka turned back to look down upon the funeral procession one final time.

"Rest in peace, Padmé. May the Force be with you."

»»——⍟——««

Ahsoka walked up the ramp and into the ship. Obi-Wan and Yoda both stood inside, along with a third person, hooded and cloaked.

"Found us here, Quinlan Vos has," Yoda announced.

"Not undamaged," the hooded Jedi grunted. "I've lost a finger."

"What happened?" Ahsoka asked, wrapping an arm around Luke.

"I escaped with help from the Wookies," the Kiffar replied, removing his hood. Bruises covered his face and one of his eyes were blackened. His black hair was greased over, and his tan skin was rougher. "I failed to save Luminara Unduli. She was surrounded and told me to find Master Yoda--" He tore his face away from all of them, eyes clenched shut as his voice faltered.

"There was nothing to be done." Obi-Wan's gaze fell on the Kiffar as he reached out a hand of comfort.

Ahsoka looked down at the ground and closed her eyes. First it was Anakin, then Plo Koon's death was confirmed, Shaak Ti, and now Luminara? Were any other Jedi still out there? No-- they had to be; after all, three stood here before her. "We'll find a way," the Togruta said firmly. "One way or another, we'll make it through to the other side of this. None of them will have died in vain, and this will not have been for naught."

"Wise words, Ahsoka Tano," Master Yoda concurred. The Jedi Master turned towards Vos, green eyes full of both grief and hope. "Much she can teach us, and much to learn, this young one does. Remember her words, you should."

"Of course, Master," Vos said quietly as he cradled his damaged hand. His mysterious dark brown eyes were seemingly empty and yet seemed full and satisfied. He released his injury, letting it stand out like a lone weed in a field of dirt. "Whose children are those?"

"Padmé Amidala's, they are," Yoda answered. "Died in childbirth she did."

"Who was their father? Do we know?" The Koffar shook his head. "Don't answer that, I'm being needlessly nosy..."

"Answer you, I cannot." Yoda turned to Ahsoka and dipped his head. "Up to young Tano, that is."

Ahsoka held Luke closer to her chest, keeping her eyes on Vos. "I don't want to tell you, not because I don't know, but because it is my mission to keep them safe. I can't do that if more and more people know about them."

"Understood," the Jedi grunted. "I hope your mission does not fail, then, for their sake."

Ahsoka offered him a smile, but faltered. She turned her head towards Obi-Wan, looking up to the Jedi Knight. "I must be going, Masters."

"Not yet." Obi-Wan smirked, reached behind his back, and revealed a small bag. He opened the top of it and handed it to her to look at. A lightsaber sat on top of a pile of clothes and there was another bag on top. "10,000 credits in both cash and in credit chips. And that is Anakin's lightsaber, seeming that you're missing yours."

Ahsoka reached for the lightsaber, feeling its metallic hilt against her fingers. "I-- thank you, Master Kenobi."

"He would've wanted you to have it." Obi-Wan placed a hand gently on her shoulder, eyes bright. "There's a blaster in there, too. There's a ship for you that Bail wants you to take a little further up the hill. Once again, do not hesitate to contact me. "I'll be staying here on Alderaan with the Organas."

Ahsoka turned her head to Master Yoda. "Where will you go?"

"Mmm... To Dagobah, I will go. Strong with the Force, that planet is. Come to visit me, will you?" the green creature chuckled, a small smile spread over his wrinkled face.

Ahsoka smiled back, eyes watering a little. "I will, Master. One day, I'll bring the children to see you. I think they'd like that."

"Until we meet again, Ahsoka Tano. May the Force be with you."

"May the Force be with you, Masters."

»»——⍟——««

Ahsoka nestled Luke and Leia next to one another in the crib that was bolted to the floor of the ship Organa had donated to her. The crib was in a small sectioned off room next to the bridge. The small starship was a G9 Rigger-class light freighter with the name "Redeemer" painted on one wall in the room. Ahsoka's bed was on the other side of the room with plain gray sheets. Ahsoka turned and left the room, leaving the doors open as she moved into the bridge.

The Togruta sat down in the bridge and reached for the navigation computer, pausing before moving on. "Little ones, I know exactly where we're going... let's go see some friends on Pantora."


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Tue Aug 03, 2021 7:01 pm
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Que wrote a review...



Hiya!

Here to review as requested. :)
Just as a note, I'm familiar with the Star Wars universe, but not the Clone Wars or anything, so I have no idea if Ahsoka is already a known character or one that you've created. Just letting you know where I'm coming from on this!

She had come close to the procession despite warnings from Obi-Wan and Master Yoda; for some reason, it felt important to have Padmé's children at the funeral.

I was wondering about this. It seems like it would be a very good idea to have the children concealed in some way if Ahsoka is going to insist on going to the (probably very crowded) funeral. Am I right in assuming that no one is technically supposed to know that they exist? Maybe it would be helpful if you had Ahsoka watching from a distance or a hilltop or something; then it only seems like she's breaking orders a little bit and that the children are probably still safe.
Also, would Yoda and Obi-Wan have known this and maybe gently scolded her for it? Up to you, but it seems like they might have given her a knowing glance when she came back or something.

"How am I supposed to make myself something I'm not?" she asked the babe across her chest. "Do you think I can really do this, Luke?"

As in, parenthood? I would love to see a little more of this! I'm assuming that Ahsoka is not really prepared to take care of children, but felt a strong impression that she needed to so she has to anyway. But since she did volunteer, it might be good to clarify what exactly her misgivings are.

"Found us here, Quinlan Vos has," Yoda announced.

"I failed to save Luminara Unduli.

Are these both characters that already exist in the universe? Hopefully we get a little more insight as to who they are for those readers who don't know. And, if they're your own characters, then I'm sure there's some development forthcoming!

Ahsoka held Luke closer to her chest, keeping her eyes on Vos. "I don't want to tell you, not because I don't know, but because it is my mission to keep them safe. I can't do that if more and more people know about them."

This part feels a little... not immature, per se, but like Ahsoka is still very young (which it appears that she is!) and not a fully polished Jedi. It's a little less formal than the way many of the other Jedi speak. This just creates a little tension with the fact that Yoda trusts her with such an important mission because she is not entirely confident yet. I wonder if this makes Yoda have some misgivings, or if Ahsoka has some of her own that we could see more of.

A lightsaber sat on top of a pile of clothes and there was another bag on top. "10,000 credits in both cash and in credit chips. And that is Anakin's lightsaber, seeming that you're missing yours."

You might have meant "seeing that" instead of "seeming"! Did I miss the missing lightsaber in the first chapter? This seems like it would be really important if Ahsoka's been trusted with such a vital mission! You might want to make a greater mention of it.

Ahsoka nestled Luke and Leia next to one another in the crib that was bolted to the floor of the ship Organa had donated to her. The crib was in a small sectioned off room next to the bridge. The small starship was a G9 Rigger-class light freighter with the name "Redeemer" painted on one wall in the room. Ahsoka's bed was on the other side of the room with plain gray sheets. Ahsoka turned and left the room, leaving the doors open as she moved into the bridge.

Given this setup, I'd love to (late on) see some parenthood stress. Such as trying to navigate some asteroids but the kids are cranky and need to be fed! The little ones are cute, but they are a lot to manage single-handed, even by a Jedi. I'd just love to see some comic moments like that in the future. :)

Fun chapter! I haven't read a Star Wars fanfiction before, so this is exciting. I can definitely see where you grounded it in the universe, and where you're taking it in a new direction. I don't think I have any other comments for now, but feel free to tag me if you put another chapter out that you need reviewed!

Happy writing,
-Q




Riverlight says...


Ahhh, thank you so much for this review!! <3



Que says...


No problem! I'll get to your other work tomorrow or so. :)



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Fri Jul 16, 2021 5:11 am
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ShadowVyper wrote a review...



VIL!

BACK AGAIN! LET'S GET STARTED!

Padmé's casket was being pulled by several large creatures called Gualarr, quadrupeds with white fur, black eyes, and one large, curled horn.


Be careful not to break your narrative voice. When you do things like saying "creatures called" -- it sort of yanks your readers out of the story, if that makes sense? Like, the goal of writing is to make your readers forget that they're reading. You want us to be so engaged in the story that we're focused on what's happening, not on the fact that we're actively reading. To do this, you have to keep everything in the perspective of your characters. It's tricky to do sometimes, but possible! For example, this could instead be something like:

Padmé's casket was being pulled by several Gualarr. They were large creatures -- quadrupeds with white fur, black eyes, and one large, curled horn.

That's the first thing that came to mind so I'm sure you can think up a better example xP but you see how that's different? Instead of explicitly telling us we need to know what they're called and then going on to describe them -- just say what they are and then describe them. It's a subtle difference but it helps your readers to stay engaged in the story itself rather than noticing this (and coming to complain about it in a review ;) ).

"What happened?" Ahsoka asked, wrapping an arm around Luke.


Isn't she already carrying him? It seems a bit odd that she's just now wrapping her arm around him since he's presumably a teeny tiny infant, given they just went to the funeral.

~

Like the last chapter (I know you haven't seen that review yet, just reiterating) I think you should stick to their names, not calling them "The Togruta" etc. throughout. If you think you're using their names too much you can always try for more pronouns (i.e., he/she/they) or just rephrasing so you don't need to use the name.

Overall, though, great chapter! Good work!

This was a bit of a shorter chapter so this will be a bit of a shorter review as well.

Hope it helped!

~Shady




Riverlight says...


Thanks again, really <3




Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
— George Santayana