Published September 29, 2011
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139,546 Literary Works • 672,605 Reviews
I liked the imagery you put in my head with this poem. It was fantastically written. I almost felt as if i was the child getting told the story haha. I loved it and I hope to see more poems from you.
The personification of this noun 'Madness' is genius. It becomes even more deep when you use it as something that can consume us rather that something we acquire. It was great!!
Wow! I really felt this poem; this is really deep. I really enjoyed it!
Wow! That was really good! I love it!
It's kind of twisted to think that Death is good, but it's a cool thought. I love how you made Madness a person, not just a thing. How he
It's awesome!
And, I disagree with Anna. I thought the ending was a twist, both a comforting and discomforting thought that they live in Death City. It felt like one of those poems that you read at the beginning of a book that gets you hooked. I don't know, though, that might just be me.
And then, I also disagree with BlueAfrica. I think you made it clear that Madness's goal isn't to destroy or kill, but to... well, make you mad.
And, I love how you made this told to a child. I imaging a little old lady telling this to her grandchild and it adds I think more of a chill to the poem. Because no one tells kids the whole truth, so this is sugared up and sweetend, if that makes sense.
Anyway, I love it!
Thanks you guys! This poem is based off of a show I like, where Death City is a good place. I agree Anna, I wanted to add another stanza, but I was stuck. I'm planning on going back and clearing things up, I just wanted to get this posted.
Thanks you guys!
Good job! Often with rhyming poems there are at least a couple spots where the rhymes are awkward and the poet seems to have sacrificed meaning for rhyme. But in your case I don't think that happened at all. Just a couple nitpicks:
First of all, the line about all of us being dead "if Madness had his way." I don't understand how we'd all be dead from madness, that's all. If you can make me see it, then I'll accept it.
And then the other thing I don't get is - you say "if Madness had his way then we would all be dead," but then you say Death will protect us from Madness. So...??? I mean, at first it sounds like death is bad, and that's why madness is bad, because its purpose is to destroy us, but then you say that death will protect us from madness. There's a big contradiction there. Contradictions are okay, but this one just seems too big.
However, I like that the narrator is telling this to a younger person; I like the feeling it provides. Also, I really like these lines:
I love those last two lines. They almost give the poem this extra eerie feeling that wasn't there before.
Hope this helped!
~Blue
This was really good! I had to read it twice, because I didn't understand it, though, and even when I had finished I still didn't get the ending. I don't understand why a child would (or wouldn't?) be comforted by the fact that Death City is around them. It wasn't clear enough for me. The rest of the poem was easy to understand. It was just the last two stanzas that I had trouble with. I couldn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes, which is good. The rhyming scheme was good too, the rhythm was constant. I enjoyed the poem as a whole, but it could have had another stanza to really clear it up, unless you're going for a mysterious kind of feel.
-Anna