Part I:
The way I perceive your smile has altered, and the relationship that I once took for granted along your side, a soothing little prison, has now been devoured by our ever-expanding schism.
Emptiness has never been so crowded, the sun has never felt so cold.
Staring from the shore onto the horizon, I seek comfort by chanting that endless possibilities will unfold from this event and all of its suffering.
But I know that’s just an empty mantra, drenched in the irrelevance of now since I’m temporarily chained to this draining moment, and trapped by unforgiving waters; molding my bruised skin.
Each wave, a perpetual memento of what could have been, reflects the sorrow of my words;
“You are beloved, dear child. You are beloved...”
Part II:
Beneath the shadow of your unconscious negligence, I gradually starve.
Distracted by hope, I fail to notice that the world around me is heaving, cracking, breaking and falling asunder.
My dear anima, you have to understand that I wish I wouldn’t feel this piercing envy; this draining hardship that you bestow upon me; which haunts my entire being.
I want to beg of you to pry open your eyes, to realize this moment and to spare me its mutilation.
Alas you can’t, because you don’t see me that way, so deep down I know that you’re not the one to blame.
But we all need our scapegoats.
Such it is; the inconvenience of subjectivity.
Here at the end of things, where the power of my tongue's confession has lost its necessity, it looks like I must sever them on my own; sever these self-destructive chains that are holding me, trapping me; killing me... I must sever this precious notion that I have projected onto you, for far too long.
“I cannot remain… I cannot remain…”
Part III:
Stretching the limitations of these seemingly unbreakable bonds, I realize that they are merely a self-inflicted illusion.
Coveting shelter from your cold and judgmental gaze, I find myself hidden behind a thin haze of repugnant cigarette smoke – I am slipping down that gap again; slipping back into fear and envy.
My body aches as my ego is drowned and I admit that these feelings are unconditional – unlike yours, my dear. How I wish I was like you.
But I shall break these chains; break free and escape this condition; escape you and your fucking waves.
Tragically, you will never know that I was ever here; passively giving you blood, while ignoring my own sakes. Because that is what you are, and that is what you’ll always be; a parasite leeching off of my approval, while you arrogantly sideline me.
“I will be gone… I will disappear - I am already on my way.”
Hey!
I must say, I know this was submitted way back, and I don't really have much to say or any advices to give anyway, but I decided to drop by anyway and give you the shortest of thoughts.
What I wanted to do, was to compliment your style - I like the imagery you use very much, and so your choice of words. My favourite feature, if I may call it so, would probably be the italics at the end of each part of this poem. They add up to the whole dark, beautiful feeling of the whole thing.
Well, yes, that's pretty much it - I'm very glad to have read it, and I would be interested in reading more of your writing. Once again, the style, the imagery and the choice of words. I liked all of it.
Eh, allow me to finish this painfully short and praising review now :p
Kind regards,
Aria~
I appreciate the kind words, but when I wrote this I was in kind of a weird place, emotionally.
I read it just now for the first time in almost half a year, and I must say, I almost regret posting this.
But it's just a flush of thoughts, basically. I was very confused.