z

Young Writers Society



The Banner

by TheObscuro


Shadow whispers: "The time has come!"
Grab the weapons in iron fists!
The enemy is coming over your land.
Bloody message has been already sent!

Ref.
The rider gallops across the green meadow,
banner in the wind is stained with blood.
Here they are, the ones who came to kill.
Time for heroes, time to die! Time to die!

Sword is trembeling in your hand.
Just slash with eyes closed.
Feel the warmth leaving the body of him,
but never mind it´s just another sin.

Ref.
The rider gallops across the green meadow,
banner in the wind is stained with blood.
Here they are, the ones who came to kill.
Time for heroes, time to die! Time to die!


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
739 Reviews


Points: 32546
Reviews: 739

Donate
Sun Feb 24, 2013 6:50 pm
xXTheBlackSheepXx wrote a review...



Hey Obscuro! I'm not sure exactly what genre or style this song is supposed to be sung in, but I'll try to review it all the same x)

Alright, so I'm guessing that this is a very slow-paced song because it is so short! It only has two verses and the chorus repeated only once at the end. It only took me a minute or so to read it, so it probably wouldn't take much longer than that to sing, unless you dragged the vocals out a lot.

Putting that aside, I think the lyrics were good! It had a very dark, menacing tone with the battle and bloody flag and all that. You did a great job setting the mood.

If you wanted to make this a bit longer, I would write a little more, maybe stuff about the actual battle or the heroes you speak of. I'm having a bit of trouble picturing this battle in my head, though maybe the instruments and everything help with that in the final version.

I hope this was helpful! Good luck with your music ^_^




User avatar
8 Reviews


Points: 540
Reviews: 8

Donate
Mon Jan 07, 2013 9:18 pm
SerenyaChan wrote a review...



Hello!
I'm Serenya!
First off, we'll done. I find this very interesting. Maybe it is just me but this seems like more of a poem. Probably beat poetry, reciting a poem in a certain manner or rhythm.
Maybe if there was music with it, it would sound more flowing, you know?
But good job and have a fantastic day!





GET YER EYES AWAY FROM MY EYE SOCKETS >.>
— herbalhour