Alfendanse

Hello!! I really like how active this poem is, while taking its time to be playful with its rhythm and imagery! Through the language, I get a sense of determination to keep running despite the panic and perhaps danger within that activeness. Even with that perkiness, the writing possess a certain flow to it that is reminiscent of old english, which that itself is reminiscent of medieval fantasy!

I feel many lines here gives such contrasting, mixed feelings of joy and panic that makes this scenario more complex, even if the exact event here isn't all that clear. To my interpretation, this poem is one situation with about two or three scenarios going on at once, but those scenarios ignite contrasting moods & atmospheres that clash each other while probably semi-relating to each other and probably intertwine with each other at some point. There's the simple joy of a dance, the determination and panic of runners, but also the danger and activeness of soldiers/or well, generally antagonistic fighters/ or a literal fire. Alongside that, there is someone looking at the chaos but we don't exactly know where they're from- with the dancers, with these runners, or just a different party.

The woods do brightly nightly leap / With fire glow, and moonbeams keep /
The joyful folk at wonderous dance

This stanza does wonderfully while pairing up lines with two different moods. The repetition of "brightly nightly leap" and the edge in "with fire glow" creates this activeness & even perhaps danger association with the woods. While in contrast, the setting of the dance is more peaceful and glorious as the "moonbeams keep" these people dancing—almost as if they have to be "kept" to dance because they're kept unaware of something that's going on. As if they were first isolated from danger.

The voices joined in sweet and sorrow prance

This line seem to be showing that this joy and danger has somehow connected while formerly being separated. Either the dance and this other ambiguous dangerous event has finally "merged" settings and/or perhaps people who are probably running has joined both the dance *and* this dangerous event (probably by first being connected to this danger, before ending up in the setting where the dance takes place?)

Willows / The flowing figures / Shadows / Wind-like, gusting over tall glades / From caverns deep; untread woods

The word usage such as "Willows" "Flowing" "Shadows / Wind-like, gusting over tall glades" is so perfect to describe these ominous figures not just working about from the woods but also being associated with these woods. As if these figures, in a sense, blend in with the woods before it's blatantly said they're from the woods, which gives very good build-up to that information. "Young and old; grey and bright" can easily be about a group of people, and/or be about these "tall glades" (the trees). Which is interesting, since this this could hint at a fire that's literal or also metaphorical—or both! First, I had interpreted these figures being actual people, but now I realize this could literally just be a fire haha.

Crash! Dash! Halls at last

This line right after this focus on these ambiguous figures, basically to establish that now they're connected to the dance setting is really great due to how energetic and active it is! "Halls at last" is also a really great way to show this new connection among various groups of people, as halls are these continuous passages that are intertwined with various of rooms!

Of silver bark with mossen door; / feasting fire; dancers' flirts and grassy floor / Swept away.

The constant semi-colons does well to give a faster pace to these lines, as if so many things are finally going on at once—compared to the previous stanzas, which heavily focuses on one setting then another with a hint of some connection among each other. "Swept away" gives the image of either the dancers and "feasting fire" being "swept away" by runners going struggling out of two things going on at once, or these dancers being "swept away" by this "feasting fire".

Night, enclose once more /The mellow voices go unheard / Awake!

I wonder if these specific "voices" are the ones who "joined in sweet and sorrow prance". Perhaps these people have finally escaped what they were running from! And now either it's morning, and/or these people have finally "awaken" from the daze they were in due to being high on adrenaline to run!



What an interesting, ambiguous ending that concludes the poem nicely, despite some of the events here being unclear! Also despite these events coming off as unclear, there were many piece of information/events here with strong imagery that were written so great! This poem is a fun, playful poem that is quite engaging to read with so many moods lingering that contrast and clashing each other, which makes this piece even more interesting to engage with!! Lovely, great piece!! Keep writing!!

Hiya Myth! I admit I am biased by previously hearing of your admiration of Tolkien, but I do have to say that this poem reminded me of him. xD The wordplay, the nature with a hint of magic... absolutely delightful. I really could imagine elves dancing throughout this poem!

Quake! Wake! Steps retrace!

Love the rhymes/assonance!

The joyful folk at wonderous dance

Super small thing, but "wonderous" should be "wondrous."

Run! Break! Flame awake!

Also a small thing, but it kind of bothered me that "Run!" didn't rhyme or have assonance with the other words. I couldn't figure out a reason for this breaking of the pattern, but if you did have one, do let me know ^^' Perhaps something like "Race!" or "Wait!" could replace "Run!"?

Star-gleam through the leaves does glance

The word "Star-gleam" and this imagery are gorgeous :3

Drawing near Amazed unlooked for

Hmm... this part didn't quite make sense to me. Did you mean "a maze" instead of "Amazed"? Or just "amaze" or "amazement"?

From caverns deep; untread woods
The Sea!

This section felt scattered to me, almost as if it was the voice of the wind, singing out snippets of all that it sees. The formatting really accented this effect. I enjoyed it!

Awake!

Ooh... I couldn't tell if this was a command to awaken to continue dancing, or if it's an exclamation of awakening the next morning, or something else.

Overall, this poem creates a lovely atmosphere and brings to mind a feeling of whimsicality as elves dance under the starlight. While I think it works well as it is, if you wanted to add on to it, I wonder what weaving a story into it would look like. For example, I noticed that "Shadows" was the only italicized part of the poem. Are these friendly shadows that can be drawn into the dance, or are they more sinister, or neutral? Or possibly the poem could describe how the evening starts and ends. These are totally optional, though. As it is, this poem feels like something cozy yet exhilarating that I could re-read whenever I want to get into a fantasy mindset.
Keep writing, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night! =D