Published June 18, 2011
I’m in stitches – ah! Do not
laugh at my condition whilst propagating eleven to one
the times of nihilism
within confinement; soaring
flights beyond the paradigm only
brief respites heralding eternal
reincarnation within the box.
I’m in stitches – the beating,
the slapping, the kicking all leave little
time for pain… the turnovers take that
and more is the discrimination
of the gloved ones that fling and punch,
these being the migraines of the pitch’s
drubbing. Yet, still it is not the needle
of artificial preservation I must
sometimes endure that which is to die for.
I am in stitches – the FC gods will it.
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140,638 Literary Works • 673,576 Reviews
I really like this. Honestly it sounds like a poem I would have to read in my english class and analyze and try to figure out the meaning. Though yours is a lot more easier to decipher than those like Shakespeare, you definitely did a really good job:)
Keep writing!
<3 Sara.
I liked this poem a lot. I don't really have any critiques; I just wanted to say that this was really good. As a side note, there have been a lot of poems on YWS about abuse lately. They're good, but kind of depressing! Haha, anyway, great! Never stop writing.
At first (in my opinion), I thought it was going to be a happy and exciting poem about how some kid got hurt and enjoyed getting patched up. Now I see that this poem is about a abuse..... I recommened that you make the beginning less fast flowing and a bit more saddening. I mean, don't make it a depressing poem but just make it all fit together
(and this is all my opinion).
I really liked it though!