Life is but a withering flame. It comes and goes as it pleases. When it comes it comes in the form of a newborn child. When it leaves it is but a simple yet terrifying experience.
As one who speaks from experience I cannot recommend it. When your soul is leaving your body you may almost instantaneously know. Or maybe it takes a while to figure out that your very soul is fluttering away from your body. In this tale I shall tell you of a man who had no-one.
This particular mans name is James. James Alexander Orinvale. He lives alone in Kielder Forest, he built his home to where it was un-noticeable by people passing by. If anyone was to notice his home he were to change the entire color inside and out so that no-one could find it again.
Visitors were not greeted with open arms in any way shape or form. No they were greeted with either a note with (and I Qoute) "Leave now or you shall be run through by a fine sword with a golden etched handle and a steel finish on the blade". James was not a very social man as you can see.
He was a very cautious man. He never liked big crowds, he never liked parties, or social conventions of any manner. The one thing he did like that involved any sort of social activity was hunting with his dog Harry. Because his main activity was either making wine or hunting he was an expert at trapping animals, and making things out of the furs.
You see James really liked his dog Harry but as time passes thing seem to well, expire. And when his dog Harry expired he got very very depressed. He decided it was time to take up a new hobby. In light of recent events he started craftsmanship. He had already had some experience in crafting and wood carving due to building his home.
The first thing he did was build a coffin for Harry. He dreaded getting some of the materials for the coffin like the red velvet, due to him hating being in public. He had to buy some of the materials as you can tell by him wanting red velvet. He went out and bought silver and gold to make a cross emblem to carve into the coffin. He dug a hole and placed very pretty and colorful rocks into the hole. He then cemented the rocks together very carefully making no mistake in putting the cement between each individual rock.
When he was done with that he made a large grave cover out of stone. He carved into the stone "May you rest in peace and merriment my good friend".
As life comes and goes be sure not to miss it for it travels swiftly through time.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review.
First Impression: Hmm....well this was a really interesting story here....and that character there was certainly a really interesting one...hmm...quite a lot of interesting messages in this one too, especially at the start...well more details down below.
Anyway let's get right to it,
OKay...well that's a really interesting start to a story, I'm definitely intrigued here right from the start, love that way that you describe life and then mention death and how it feels like, them not recommending it also adds a slight touch of humor which is also nice to see and then that ending for the second paragraph, sounding almost ominous as our narrator here prepares to tell us a story of someone who seems like a pretty lonely character...well, excellent start, let's see where it goes from here.
Ojj...well this is definitely a man that does not want to have any kind of interaction with society, that much is immediately very clear..oh well...this guy seems like he could e a really interesting character at any rate. Also changing the color after anyone spots the house is suuper overkill but I love that kind of overkill.
Hmm...also a very descriptive man...I mean...you don't always describe the weapon with which you threaten to inflict death on somebody..well I'm loving this character you're building so far he's definitely a very social person...that much is certain.
Oooh well this guy definitely doesn't need to do anything extra to prove just how much he hates being in social gatherings, he's done more than enough already...
also who you calling a dog?...what's going on hereNoo....why hath thou killed me?Coincidental names aside, this seems like a horrible situation for our privacy loving James here whose only friend was his dog here. That definitely seems like the type of thing that can make someone be very sad. Doing something to try and overcome that seems the best way for his to go about things.Hmm...well that's a very meticulous description of what looks like it would be quite a grand coffin there...well I haven't seen many coffins in my time, but this one seems like it would certainly be quite a special one here.
Hmm...well that surprisingly emotional and sentimental there towards the end, I was not expecting to run into something like that considering how the start of this story went...xD..but well...I'm definitely not complaining here...its a pretty neat ending to the story here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Well...this was definitely quite an interesting read. Bit sad there at the end...and also seems to be trying to convey something there through the vague statements involving life at the start and the end there. Well at any rate, that's all I've gotta say for now.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Well written and sad story.
However with the lines:
"He was a very cautious man.............making things out of the furs." You rewrite or separte the senteces where Harry is first mentioned because it seems randonly set when when talking about Jame's socail problems.
Also adding the part where he takes up a new hoddy takes away from the original message of the story.
In all your writing is good just needs some rearrranging to make a little more sense and put more meaning in the words.
I like this story. I really like the beginning. I like how the introduction was written. It's short and sweet but I think you could have lengthened it a little more because it was a little rushed. You could have added more emotion and more details when his dog had died. But overall I like your writing style.
Keep writing and have an awesome day
I am actually going to try and make this into an actual book. I know it was rushed. The reason behind that is because it is actually a school project. I had already finished another project but I decided to see if this would fare any better instead of what I had written before it. The only problem was that the project was due the next morning. Thank you for the feeedback!