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Open, simple

by The-Fire-godess


How easily those three words slip
from my mouth, sweetly to your lip.
You kiss me as you always do
everything seems so simple with you.
There are no secrets hidden deep
not mumbling worries as you sleep.
How can this be? Still I can't understand
why you're so easy going and unplanned,
Life isn't as simple as you make it appear
Even the happy people have a depth full of fear.
So please don't be afraid to let your feelings show,
I'm here for you, I promise, I refuse to let you go.


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532 Reviews


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Sun May 01, 2011 6:31 pm
GeeLyria wrote a review...



Hi There, Fire! :) I'm Sol, and I'm going to review for you today. Image I like the poem, the ending was amazing. But, you should check out the puntation. In my opinion some commas would be nice. :)

The-Fire-godess wrote:You kiss me as you always do ,
everything seems so simple with you.

Add a comma.

The-Fire-godess wrote:There are no secrets hidden deep,
not mumbling worries as you sleep.

Same. :)

The-Fire-godess wrote:How can this be? Still I can't understand
why you're so easy going and unplanned,

I think that comma should be a period.

The-Fire-godess wrote:Life isn't as simple as you make it appear,

Add comma.

The-Fire-godess wrote:Even the happy people have a depth full of fear.
So please don't be afraid to let your feelings show,
I'm here for you, I promise, I refuse to let you go.

Beautiful, I love it!

Great job, keep writing!!

#00BFBF ">~Solvy <3
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165 Reviews


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Sun May 01, 2011 6:07 pm
qaralynn wrote a review...



helloo :)
really sweet poem!! I don't really have any criticism :)

Life isn't as simple as you make it appear
Even the happy people have a depth full of fear.
So please don't be afraid to let your feelings show,
I'm here for you, I promise, I refuse to let you go.


I love this part!!
nice work!
-qaralynn-




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Fri Mar 11, 2011 2:39 pm
Prats says...



I liked reading this. It's kind of sweet.
I liked these lines very much:
"Life isn't as simple as you make it appear
Even the happy people have a depth full of fear."
Nice one!!!




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Mon Jan 17, 2005 2:28 pm
Chevy wrote a review...



Well, I'm not really one for poems that rhyme, simply because in serious poems, they can really take away from the poem itself. However, even though I didn't particulary care for this type of poem, your rhyming scheme was good and nothing sounded rushed until this part:

Even the happy people have a depth full of fear.
So please don't be afraid to let your feelings show,
I'm here for you, I promise, I refuse to let you go.

Perhaps you should take some of those words out...they seemed like run on sentences.





"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."
— William Shakespeare