Young Writers Society

Tezzy! I wanted to review this before, but forgot! Oops!

All of the assonance here is a lot to actually read through, but I think it works for the whole vibe I got from this. It kind of twists the way everything sounds together in a way that suits the theme of Alaska being a wannabe, or a place where there's a lot of questionable things happening and everyone ignores it for unknown reasons. The way it's slurred at points also works for the way it's presented in a long spiral of thought.

The lack of actual punctuation with a period is something I'd usually not be a fan of, but like I said above, it works for the poem. It's not hard to read anywhere, so I'd say keep it because it's really fun. The feeling I get from this is like a drunken person at a bar telling a story or giving a controversial opinion of Alaska and having everyone not understand half of the words said, maybe a Canadian because of the title haha.

I also like how a lot of the lines begin with a specific living thing; a man, a woman, a fish. It really shows how everything happening is harming the environment farther than just the nature and local animals. Humans are one of the only living things that can change this behavior too, but most of the don't do anything helpful. The fact they are the first ones mentioned is another interesting thing to think about too.

I do have one thing to say though~

the natural habitat prays to nature deities as if that would cure the litter
and many crab corpses lining the pure sand barrier beaches;

Good poem overall it really illustrates your point. I just have a few nitpicky things to point out that will help the overall clarity of your poem.

#1

fish swim through streams and lakes almost frozen over and end up dead by cause of mesh nets;

the natural habitat prays to nature deities as if that would cure the litter

Oooh, i really liked this one! It showed the beauty of nature, and the bad effects of climate change and littering all at once! First off, i would like to suggest capitalizing the beginning of all the lines, and the proper names, such as Anchorage, Big Dipper etc. It goes a long way, trust me. What do you mean by “the actual” Big Dipper? By downdrift do you mean “in the direction of the net longshore transport,” or “On the downward side of a drift”? Or driftwood? I feel like most people wouldn’t understand what you were talking about, but maybe that’s just me. The part about “Men say their sailor songs verbatim” doesn’t make a huge ton of sense. Verbatim means ‘word for word’, or ‘with word for word accuracy.’ It doesn’t quite seem to fit. “Tatterdemalion” is a fun looking word, and one can infer it’s meaning, but it’s not a very common word, and I feel it would be better if you put a slightly more common word in it’s place. Props for the fun fancy word though, it fits pretty well! I think in the “The actual big dipper and polaris are barely seen throughout all of the air pollution,” line you could take out the ‘are’ and change throughout to through. It kinda just seems to fit better. Lastly, I really like the last line. It has a fun, echoey, mysterious air to it, but i think you could rewrite it to make a little more sense. I love the line about nature praying to dieties, it really personifies nature as begging to be saved from the trash and filth being dumped on it. Sorry for being really nitpicky, it’s a really great and interesting poem! I feel it has a powerful message, keep it up!