The last few days have been a blur
Of wine-soaked dreams,
Of touches in the haze of drunkenness,
A conversation where the last few words were whispered
Where my fumbling hands turned off the phone before I could say anything
Where I cursed my own clumsiness
I cried into a pillow and things seemed impossibly large
Red-rimmed lips seemed to swell
Tears seemed like oceans
And my half-murmured words should have been shouts
waking the house.
All these hours it seems to have been
And yet I may have only lived a few moments
Because two days have passed
I can’t think of anything else
To think about,
To say, except…
I heard you.
The last few days I’ve gone to bed
Curled myself in fleece and satin and velvet…
And pretended I wasn’t crying,
Ignored the stain on my pillow,
Acted like I didn’t feel my nails bite into my palms
But still closed my eyes and saw nothing but your face.