Published April 21, 2013
No man is an island, they say. They say we all need love, friendship and family to survive. I’ve never known love and friendship, and I’ve never had any real family.
I’ve spent my entire childhood moving from one foster home to another, never knowing my real parents. When I was fifteen, I ran away. One night at 1 am after everyone was asleep, I tiptoed outside the bedroom that I had been staying in for a week, soundlessly got outside the main door, climbed over the low gate and ran, just ran like crazy. I was a teenager fleeing on the streets at 1 am, with all kinds of possible danger lurking in the darkness. I didn’t get very far – The neighbour’s guard made sure of that. But if I could do it again, I would because to be honest, that was the happiest that I had felt in a long time. To be free. It wasn’t that the families I lived with were bad. Well, most of them were. But the one I was running away from were really sweet. And that was the problem. I didn’t like sweet. Or caring or generous. That doesn’t mean I liked mean and viscous either. I just didn’t like families, I guess. Maybe I didn’t like people in general. I didn’t know. All I knew was that every day, I was feeling more and more suffocated in that house, and I needed some fresh air. I embraced the chilly air and breathed in freedom, my freedom. That was until my foster parents found me and made me get into the car. I didn’t say a word to them the entire way back to their house. They didn’t either. The next morning, I was packing my bag to be sent off back to the orphanage.
When you say you are an orphan, everybody looks at you like it’s some sort of a curse. They give you sympathetic looks and say stuff like, “it happens.” Well, of course it happens! I know that, and I know pretty damn well that I “will be fine.” I never needed anybody’s assurance, or anybody’s warmth and security. I never longed for it like most of the other kids at the orphanage. Why should orphans be any different from the rest of the world? Parents are over-rated.
I wasn’t the type to act out, either. There were some of those kids back there, the trouble makers. The ones that lashed out everybody like it was the entire human population that was responsible for their state. Me? I was the one who always sat in the corner, out of everybody’s way and scribbled onto a piece of paper. Sometimes I drew pictures, sometimes I wrote words, and sometimes I just sat for hours staring at the blank sheet of paper. My thoughts used to wander everywhere. I thought about exotic countries, foreign people, strange languages, food, dances, sultry desserts, green landscapes, snow-capped mountains, I saw it all in my mind’s eye. I read a lot about it, too, from the books that were handed down by the rich kids who came to the orphanage to make generous donations once in a while. We were always given second-hands, it was easy to tell. The books were often dog-eared, the clothes had stains or tears and the toys almost always had a fundamental part broken. The gift I received for my tenth birthday was a doll with just one eye. I talked to her for a while and then tossed her in the trash. That was my life. I spoke when I was asked a question, I smiled when they told me a joke, nodded when they wanted me to understand and hung my head when they wanted me to be ashamed. I played along to all their little tricks...all along, just counting down the days to when I would finally get out of that place.
I never wished for a big palatial house with a big beautiful lawn, I didn’t wish for all the expensive toys or the sparkly dresses, neither did I wish for friends or any sort of attachment. I caught on very early in life to what I really wanted – and that was, to travel. Alone.
All I ever needed was me. They say no man is an island. I say they’re all wrong.
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140,722 Literary Works • 673,680 Reviews
Hmmm. Very interesting, deep thoughts.
So I would suggest revising it or taking it out.
The entire world is around one, and whether one likes to interact or not, it's gotta happen a a certain point. 
I must start with I liked how you matched the ending with the beginning.
My first criticism would be that this is just way too rushed. I know that possibly you wanted to just write this is an expressive way but I feel that if some sentences were even just worded a little differently this would not seem as rushed as it did.
And the criticism I am going to focus on is that I feel like you're jumping a bit, and adding things that make reading this very heart-filled work harder than it would be had things been a bit easier to understand. "I was a teenager fleeing on the streets at 1 am, with all kinds of possible danger lurking in the darkness." I am a bit confused as to why this was there, this is true, but nothing happened to her, and when you have a statement like that it kind of is predicting something happening.
"I didn’t get very far – The neighbour’s guard made sure of that." Did the neighbors guard tell the foster parents and that was how they found her? I wouldn't be too sure, but it seems like two different possibilities.
"I didn’t like sweet. Or caring or generous. That doesn’t mean I liked mean and viscous either. I just didn’t like families, I guess. Maybe I didn’t like people in general. I didn’t know." I like thoughts, and thinking in characters and in short stories, I really like when it seems like it's coming straight out of someones though process so generally I don't have anything against that, but, I feel like it's almost too chopped up and that adds to the confusion. Maybe try "I didn't really like sweet, or caring or generous. But that doesn't mean I like mean and viscous either, it's that I just don't like families, I guess. Maybe I didn't like people in general. I didn't know." ( I would also suggest "I'm not sure", I think it flows a bit better)
I think you mean "I needed some fresh air!"
"When you say you are an orphan, everybody looks at you like it’s some sort of a curse." I can't help but feel like this is not true, I volunteered for a while in an orphanage and I know that no one who also came to volunteer ever saw the kids as a curse. Not only that but, when we had all went to a park nearby a woman saw the orphans her heart went out to them, and she bought them all ice-cream! That said though, I know what you mean, and in some cases if orphans are begging and in movies and such people do look at them that way. But to say "everybody" is a little much in my opinion.
I think it was ironic you wrote "Why should orphans be any different from the rest of the world?" and then "Parents are over-rated." Orphans are not any different from the rest of the world except for the fact that their parents are dead or can't take care of them. So, I don't see how "Parents are over-rated" really works. And I'm not sure how orphans are different from the rest of the world at all. But I understand that you were trying to get the point of view of someone who did not want to be surrounded by people whether jolly or not but wanted to make her achievements and be sort of a successful person that never grew up with a family.
I actually really liked the part when she talked about herself being corner and dreaming about things. I thought it was quite well, written because I often found myself dreaming up stuff by staring at a piece of paper, and I thought it painted a picture of someone who was bound and wanted be to able to be free.
So,they truly were not generous donations and were actually horrible donations! But I understand how you were trying to portray people who think themselves better and give others only things they don't need.
I didn't really understand the symbolism of talking to the doll for a while and then throwing her into the trash, was it that she felt she was better than such a doll? Or that she felt she was too old for such a doll? Or she realized that the doll would never hear her nor see her, so she wondered why she was talking to her?
"All their little tricks" I am confused as to why it's a trick. I know what it is to have to respond when you really don't want to, and I know what it's like to laugh just because you feel you have to, but I don't see it as a trick. And I don't put it on the person who is making me do that. I mainly see it as life, and I would describe it more as a "game" rather than a trick because a trick has reason, meaning behind it, when sometimes it's just that other people feel better than some and thus others have to go along with it. Not truly a trick, in my opinion.
I liked the ending very much, I think it kind of describes your character well, and I agree, sometimes it is very possible to be an island. But that dosen't mean one's alone.
I think it's a deep short story, but I also think it needs a bit of redressing. Good thoughts though, and sometimes we all need to think of things this way.
Thank you so much for your helpful review. I understand your points and see what you mean. This does need a little bit of re-working. And I will do so as soon as I stop procrastinating. :p Thanks again!
This story was pretty good. Although, some people dont need orphanship as an excuse to feel that way sometimes. Sometimes we dont want others nearby. I like that feeling of defiance at the end, and I like how you called it "playing their little games," . I only think that way when I'm angry, but lots of people can compare themselves to your character.