Published November 12, 2005
I saw you hanging
from that rope
upon the apple tree.
I know it's much to late
to ask questions at this point.
I thought you loved mne dearly
as much as i loved you.
But now it seems where over
Until we meet in heaven
were things can start again.
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139,467 Literary Works • 672,571 Reviews
I like how each stanza half-way rhymes with the one before it. It gives it a nice flow, like a curvy line, or ripples. If that makes sense, lol.
It could be a lot better if you read it through in search of typos, but apart from that, its really great!
I know it's much to late
too
were things can start again.
where
It was a bit rushed, so it was hard to get anything from it. I sort of liked it, because of the simplicity. If you expanded it any more, it would seem too much.
There are quite a few typos in this piece.
I feel it lacked emotion. It could become quite a powerful piece if a bit more expression was added. As it is, I cannot feel the narrators grief, sadness, regret etc. A bit more work is needed