Young Writers Society

"Except for our hearts," That just makes more sense to me.

There are some lines that are too repetitive. I mean when you repeat the same word in two lines, it doesn't sound right. Try changing it. If you can't, that's fine with me.

Overall, I feel as if the emotion isn't really there. I felt it in the beginning, but it died out in the second and third stanzas.

Hello!
I enjoyed this poem for a lot of reasons, one of which being that I can relate to this. Sometimes anger drives an action that you regret for quite a while, even though you really love that person. Anyways, I really liked this! You did a good job with it, especially if you're only twelve (not to sound... judging?...it's just I remember what I was writing at that age, and it wasn't pretty XD ). I usually don't like to point out age, but you seem to have a good, relatable understanding and use a lovely word choice and arrangement that surprised me. When I scrolled back up to check your username, I was a little surprised to see '12', is all.
The only nitpick I have for this is here ""I hate you, you are the worst of my mind."

But a few moments later,

A sudden regret comes to our mind," you use the word 'mind' twice in one stanza, and both of them are at the end of the line. This doubled-up use of this word disrupted the flow of the poem and caused me to stop and reread the stanza to figure out why I had stopped halfway through the stanza so abruptly. I might consider choosing a different word that means the same thing, but is not the same word? A common substitute to 'mind' might be 'thought', 'brain', 'consciousness', and the like.
That was all for nitpicks Again, this was very beautiful! I can't wait to see what else you write.

Hey there Kat here to review for you!

So, I loved your last stanza it was beautiful! to me that group of lines summed up your whole poem better than your poem itself. By that I mean the other two stanzas were a little confusing. I understand that it is a very strong love almost like the two people are one person and even though they fight they always come back to each other. However lines like :

Not understood by many,

Except for our heart,

and

But not going to show,

As it is too strong to show


many what? Not going to show what? It is implied what you mean (and I know what you mean) but it just makes it kind of choppy and distracts from your lovely poem.

A lot of great points and emotion here though and it's a nice twist to a typical love poem. With a few tweaks it would be amazing <3

Hope I helped, keep at it!