The shining armor glittered in the sunlight
This wonderous man really was a true Knight
He had a faithful steed who always stuck by his side
Even if he wasn't originally invited for the ride
The knight started from the bottom of the mud
He went about his day getting rid of party duds
Then he met his noble steed who took him for a trip
And his home was overridden in a zip
The Knight decided to talk to the man responsible
Only to be assigned a job that had been impossible
The knight saved a princess in a tall tower
After fighting the dragon he probably needed a shower
The princess was reluctant but she came with him in the end
He saved this woman from the place where she was condemned
The princess acted different but she really was the same
Finally the knight taught her how not to feel shame
The two fell in love and they lived happily ever after
In most fairy tales this would be the end of the chapter
But there is muchmore to be added to the matter
They are not even over at Shrek Forever After
(SHREK FIVE IS COMING!!!!!)
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I think for a second in the first line of the fourth stanza (The princess... in the end) I thought about Shrek, but I didn't even consider it to be the main idea in the poem until the very end. I love how you put in subtle, yet at the same time specific details of the movie. Looking back at the poem, I was able to see how everything, including the title, related to the Shrek movie. Speaking of titles, I liked your title, The Truest Knight of Green. I thought it was a good description of Shrek, yet didn't give him away, like I said before subtle yet specific details. My only thing is the third stanza. You have a really good flow of details in the rest of the poem, but between lines 10 (Only to...impossible) and 11 (The knight...tower) there's a really big jump between ideas. It just goes from him, Shrek, being assigned something to already having had saved the princess. I think you could add a word or two to have the the lines flow better. It doesn't necessarily have to be a transition word because that would take away from the poem, but something that works and flows with the poem and helps flow the two ideas in lines 10 and 11. Either way, it's a really good poem and it was really funny! I loved it!
Also, welcome to YWS! I'm a newbie like you and I hope to see more of your work in the future. Congrats on your first poem!
Legacy here for a review.
FIRST OF ALL WOOW I DID NOT KNOW THIS WAS ABOUT SHREK UNTIL THE LAST FRICKEN LINE. (okay now I'm done with the yelling).
I love this UNTIL THE END where you mention SHREK. You monster, you ruined it.
Okay I need to stop with my hatred with shrek.
If it wasn't for your last line, no one would easily be able to tell it was about shrek I didn't even notice your rhyming pattern until I read it again (AABB). The rhymes don't feel forced which is good (I hate forced rhymes so fricken much, even though I am guilty of it myself sometimes).
I could really see the story playing out until the last line because I HATE SHREK. FRICK.
Ugh I need to stop before I rant about shrek even more. Hopefully I was helpful. Legacy out.
Shrek is love Shrek is life. jk. thanks for the comment!
You're welcome
Found this very entertaining