There was a meadow, where lays a building today.
Where birds could sing and children could play
Where the scents from the flowers would float on the air
But all I see today, is a tower, gray and bare.
Where are the bugs and where are the bees?
Where is the grass and where are the trees?
Where is the land where my childhood, I spent?
Everything has changed, from steady to bent.
All I can do is dream of the past,
For the future is dull and is approaching fast,
Long gone is the beauty of my mother land.
And all in her place, is dry lifeless sand
Sand that wont let our children see,
The wonders of the sky, the secrets of the tree.
In their eyes, will lie black and gray,
Oh, in the past how I wish to stay.
Take me back to when people would care,
When people would love, their kindness they would share.
Where warm hearts would melt today's stone cold men,
Oh it was a beautiful life, back then.
~Tanya Pramod
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,422 Literary Works • 673,180 Reviews
This is truly beautiful. I must congratulate you on the rhythm, the poem seemed to flow as smoothly as rushing water. I also found the selected topic quiet interesting. I personally took it as a reflection on how humans have changed and whether or not we are going in the right direction. Poetry is a great thing and I hope you keep at it because you have an obvious talent
Thank you so much, it truly means a lot when others take some time off to read a poem of mine, your comments truly mean a lot, thanks again!
This was one of the best poems ever thank yo for sharing this!
Thank you for reading it! Means a lot:)
This poem is nostalgia in a bottle. It's wonderful, beautifully written. Welcome to the site.
Thank you! It means a lot really:)
Your Welcome.
Well hello there. Welcome to YWS. I am here to review this piece of art. I really liked your flow.
Also, since you are new here you wouldn't know how much I love rhyming in a poem. I ABSOLUTELY love reading things that rhyme and yours is great. I think you have good potential if you would want to be a poet. Also, I love your grammar skills and I honestly don't see any misspellings. Keep up your awesome work!
-Nicole
Thank you so much, it honestly means a lot to me that people actually enjoy reading these little pieces of mine, I do love to rhyme, it makes more sense I guess! Thanks again:)
You're welcome!!:))
Hey there!!! Reader here!!! I see you're our newest member. Welcome to the site! Hopefully you'll have tons of fun and get some good feedback on your writing!
Your poem is great!! I love the title and that sorrowful tone you've accomplished.
I think you added an extra space between the first line and first stanza. And the wording of the first line needs a little adjustment. I think you could make it read a little smoother.
I don't quite understand this. Might wanna clarify that for us
But I love your use of rhyming!! Not many poems rhyme anymore and I think rhyme brings unity to a poem.
I get the environmental message you're giving us. And that's awesome for your poem. But idk how true it is. Was the past really all that great? Maybe it's just that we experience more hardship as we live longer. Idk maybe it's just me.
Altogether a beautiful and well written poem. Not too long but long enough to get the point across. Well done!
Keep writing poetry!! It's a beautiful thing.
Hiii, firstly I'd like to thank you for reading this little bit I wrote a while back, yes I did leave an extra space in the beginning! Sorry about that! That line is me basically, longing to go back to when i could actually play in the gardens and parks near my house which have all turned horribly Into buildings and malls today. I'm sorry though that you don't think the past was better, at least to me I guess it was because it was the one time when beauty was what nature actually was. We're so caught up in the city life that we fail to see the beauty in a simple tree that stands giving us all we need. That's all I wish to portray, thank you for reading and offering your thoughts!
Yep!! I totally could tell from your poem! You don't have to apologize!! Poems are personal and can be about anything!!! You showed your thoughts in a deep and beautiful way. Good work
Thank you so much:)