Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: So this was a really intense little short that you've got here. Its certainly a very interesting take on this problem that you are trying to present and I think it works wonders and you're really got a very impactful piece even though its so short.
Anyway let's get right to it,
I sat down at the computer and mashed the button that turned it on. The little blue light flickered twice before blinking on and the whirring noises of the computer “thinking” proceeded. The opening logo stayed before my eyes for several seconds before switching to the log on screen. I selected my icon and left the room for a couple seconds, when I returned, my screen was fully loaded with the dull blue background gazing at me.
Well that's a pretty decent description of opening up a standard laptop. At the moment I'm not exactly blown away or hooked, it feels slightly menial almost but we'll see.
I went searching for the folder labeled “My documents” and when I found it, I opened it and sorted through a labyrinth of folders titled any of many names. Eventually, I came to what I had been looking for, the one titled “Love”. I rolled my eyes, this is just my thing, to go back and view my sappy “I’m so emotional” poetry.
And now this is what makes it interesting. The earlier start to this seems a little too drawn out almost but when you get to the folder part it really does grab your attention. Now that would be much better to see as an opening with maybe one line giving to starting the computer up.
I rolled my eyes at it and wished it didn’t exists.
Think that should be exist and not exists. Also this is like every writer ever when they look back at something they wrote a while ago.
I highlighted the poem and took a glance at it before clicking delete. Then the words were gone, I sat back in my chair and rested my hands on my stomach, pleased with the well done work. I closed my eyes.
This is a really interesting route that you've taken to hint at maybe some deeper problems this person is suffering from that has to do with love. Its certainly a very different take to what I've seen before.
I sat up and hit the delete button several times, each time my finger came down slightly harder on the keyboard until I was pounding at it with my fist.
Delete, delete, delete, it wouldn’t go away. The memory of a time I didn't want to remember wouldn't fade.
Delete.
Delete.
Delete.
What an eerie and almost echoing end to this tale here. Its so simple yet the imagery of that delete button is really powerful and doing sooo much to show that, oh hey this person is going through some really serious things here. Good Job there.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall it was a really nice story to read. Like I said I really like this delete button thing that you went (was it the third time that I gushed about this?
) and the overall pace of this was also really nice except for what I mentioned above regarding the opening paragraph. And that's about it.As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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