Published September 11, 2014
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140,210 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
hi writer,
i for one will definitely give you superpowers after reading this.
its cool and totally right.
and even i wish -
"i would make all normal people cower,
Hack into all sound technology. "
love the word- normal people
what does that make us ?
used to the references you used in the poem ... so the meaning was appropriate.
cool and fun..
keep writing and do review.
to see my work, visit- The first betrayal
give me your opinions
I liked that you wrote a song based off of someone asking you a question about your dream superpower. I've never thought of that.. I liked that your superpower is to hack into technology and get rid of certain types of music but yet you are writing a SONG.. It's ironic, go you!! I don't want to reiterate what others have already said, so I would just like to add to it. The line "Vivaldo's Lute Concerto in D Major Dupstep Remix" really doesn't flow into this song at all. I see where you're going with it, but I just don't think it worked. It stands out of the song way too much and not in a very good way. I don't agree with you getting rid of any music, period, but I like this song and other than that one part, I think it is pretty good..
Hot, but I'm not good with country music but your idea is just great. One little error I saw was "Pop music would a thing of the past" I think you meant to type "Pop music would be a thing of the past". That was it, but why do you have to get rid of traditional jazz?
I didn't say I was getting rid of trad jazz... no sir.
Timmy here?
I honestly don't know how to review this. I am no good at doing lyrics, so this review will probably stink, but I will do my best to give you a decent review... even if I can't do lyrics at all, and don't know how to do them.
The only thing I think I could do to help you here is to tell you that you have a few superfluous words in your piece. Just little words that don't really add anything, descriptions of people that gum up the flow of the lyrics, and just words like that which don't really add much. I will pull one or two out to make it much more better. Yesh.
Sound technology is rather awkward to read out loud, much less sing. I sang through every line in my head, and that one just stuck with me, because it was so awkward and such. Too many big words.
I think this line should be more of a flowing line, and have a rhyming ending, even if it means rhyming three times. As it is, radio three didn't flow very well for me, either. it sounded rather rough for me. Perhaps a different word?
Classical music isn't country music... and yet in the way you word it, it seems as though you say they are the same. Perhaps write it in such a way so that its sarcastic about the classical music? That you are stating literally that country is classical?
I am afraid that is all I can give you for constructive help there. I hope it helped somewhat, and isn't entirely confusing. I have only written one lyrical song myself, and it was the worst ever made, so yeah. xD
I did like your idea, and thought it was really neat. The thought of shutting off all the rap music and rock 'n roll in the world would be so pleasant for me. It wouldn't be Vivaldi's Lute Concerto in D Major Dupstep Remix for me (even though that line was awkward, I still loved it). But more like Josh Groban and stuff.
Indeed, you will get your like.
~Darth Timmyjake
I would review this if I had the time and could give a proper review. But unfortunately I am horrible at reviewing music and I am very busy. Sorry fiend! I did like the work though