This poem is actually pretty good. It reminds me of poems by E. E. Cummings (who is my favorite poet). He also makes use of phrases in parenthesis. I've always liked how the parenthesis make something part of the poem, but also add a though without interrupting the flow, and I think you used the really well. Some things I would change, though, would be when you repeat the word 'cry' in parenthesis. It doesn't really add anything, besides repetition. And also, when you repeat the word twice in parenthesis, such as "find, find" or "bind, bind." I think one wouldd have the same effect. Other than those two instances of unnecessary redundancy, your poem is interesting, and I would post part 2, maybe after you get another few reviews so people know what part 1 was.
Points: 890
Reviews: 52
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