I'm a fiction writer, not a song writer, but I need songs for my story. And this is what I came up with for the first one. Please critique harshly. Also, where could I find someone to help me write a song for my story, cause I might not be able to write the second one I'm sure to need, if not more.
Oh, and it's supposed to be a country song. All the ones I'm going to write will be country.
Thanks!
Escape:
As I’m driving down the road I wonder what would happen if I just kept going
If I didn’t turn off the highway and go home,
If I didn’t go to work tomorrow, and I just kept going.
What would happen if I just kept driving and escaped from the crazy life I lead?
I want to escape, but I can’t.
I want to keep driving and be done with it all, but I have to many ties holding me down.
I need somewhere to stretch out my wings and fly, somewhere that I can love how I live and where I live.
I dream of a woman that I can hold close and love.
A woman that I know will be there for me no matter what.
Cliché, I know, but what I wouldn’t do to find her.
She isn’t where I live, so if I keep driving I might find her.
I want to escape, but I can’t.
I want to keep driving and be done with it all, but I have to many ties holding me down.
I need somewhere to stretch out my wings and fly, somewhere that I can love how I live and where I live.
One of these days I will keep driving down this highway,
But like every other day I turn off at exit twenty-three
Drive down Main street and then down the back roads to my house
As I pull up the driveway and park I wonder if I made the right choice
Would I find what I was looking for down the road, would life be better?
I want to escape, but I can’t.
I want to keep driving and be done with it all, but I have to many ties holding me down.
I need somewhere to stretch out my wings and fly, somewhere that I can love how I live and where I live.
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Canary word: Present
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I really enjoyed this. I can almost picture this as a real country song. It could be just how i'm hearing it in my head but the begginging chorus line " I want to escape but i can't " sound a little weird, maby you could re-word it. but that could just be me, lyrics always seem weird until you hear them the way they are ment to be sung. Have you ever noticed how weird and sometimes cheesy lyrics are on paper but not in song? anyway, i really enjoyed this. keep it up.
I really liked this because I think that a lot of people can relate to it. I think there are times when everybody wants to just keep going, break out of the normal, and leave their responsibility behind. And the third verse really grabbed my attention of how he said "One day I will keep driving down this highway". I kind of wish there was more stuff like that in the verse about what he'll do if he ever does drive down the highway. I don't know. I don't write lyrics either, so I hope I helped a little bit.
Wow. That was really deep. I thought it was amazing personally. Only a few things. I know it says like why the person wants to run in a little snip, but I would like to know more. What are they running from, why? Why do they want to run away. Has someone done something wrong? Has the main person done something?
Its really great, amazing, I'd say. But I think it'd be maybe a little more understanding. Especially if people reading it have wantedto run away like the main person. Good job! I really enjoyed it!