Young Writers Society

Hai, Laure here for a review. Because the previous reviewers has already pointed out the typos, I will focus mainly on the content. I disagree with Strange when he said that this was nothing special ,because it is. But only if you continued to expand this, I mean there is definitely potential hidden in this short passage that could be extended into a great story. Your descriptions though short and simple really touches the heart and paints a clear image, e style of your writing is light-hearted and humorous but also thought-provoking at the same time.

The bit after her friends say their shirts are all wet, I thought before you jumped to the girl friend. You could continue to expand that part, and describe the rain or some more feelings. You hear one thousand squealing, what?

This isn't bad, in fact is good. But there is so much potential at hand is a pity you didn't go further.

Keep on writing!

-Laure

Hey icannothearthings, Strange here and I felt the need to review this. Sorry if this review is very rusty as I just came back from a hiatus.
To be honest, it was okay. That was the most blunt I can be. There is honestly nothing really special going on here except for detail. It's all one can expect from a work in the Other section. I wasn't surprised all this was was just detail. I honestly did love one part, though I don't want to sound mean by it. It's when you said "I can't hear well." That is when this story became personal and more from your mind. It's something most "Other" works don't have. I know you don't hear well, because, your name.
Overall, it wasn't bad and it wasn't great. It was decent.
Strange gives you..
5.9/10
Good job
Keep writing
Stay groovy, my friend.

Hi there!

I don't review many things in the "other" section, but I can try.

I have one nitpick for you:

I hear 1,00 tiny voices squealing.