You appeared after evening Mass
and pressed a little flower into my hand
told me it fell from the sky
while you were praying to St Therese
but you must have plucked it yourself
because it rotted away on your mantelpiece
and you never spoke of heavenly flowers again
i love this.I dont know why but it makes me happy and almost proud.I think it is amazing.You should never be nervous as if someone judges you then they are WRONG.Never doubt yourself and keep posting:)
it is sweet and nicely put together,one thing i would say is a tiny bit more discritive detail and it'll be great!
Hello! My name is Via and I'm here for a review! So let's get started.
POSITIVES:
First and foremost, I love poetry that's simple, sweet, and to the point. I'm a firm believer of less is more. Like what @LizzyTyler said, your poem is very nicely structured. I'm highly impressed by how well it flowed together. Everything was so smooth. I can tell you really must be good at editing things down.
Your theme and mood are well established. Almost everything here supports that theme and mood to form one cohesive piece.
Rhythm wise, it mostly stayed on beat. I loved the metaphor and imagery using the rose and the flowers. I grew up Catholic, so this resonates well with me. THANK YOU for fixing auto capitalization. It's a pain for all poets to deal with it, but sadly it happens. Even I forget to fix it sometimes.
My favorite line was this:
but you must have plucked it yourself
because it rotted away on your mantelpiece
and you never spoke of heavenly flowers again
Good Morning/Evening/Night!
First, I would like to welcome you back. I’m too new to have known you, but welcome back nonetheless.
Now, time for my actual review. So, to begin, I really loved you poem. It was nicely structured, with a smooth flow. I am not sure how to pronounce St. Therese, so I am not sure if it rhymes with any of the words. If it doesn’t, I would suggest rhyming some of the words, but that’s just my personal preference.
Other than that, I loved your poem, and hope to see more of your work around!
Happy writing!
-Lizzy
120,194 Literary Works • 649,018 Reviews
Points: 134
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