the friendless punishment

I'm going to be honest with you. You have a great general concept here, and your vocabulary is pretty impressive too. But the way you portrayed this general concept and put it into story seems a bit off to me. It starts out of nowhere (which can be okay in some cases, but this didn't seem to work), goes back to another place that seems rather irrelevant, then comes back to the original setting without much of a transition. It all seems a little forced, as though you wanted to get points across, but hurried too much to do it. Or something. It's also confusing and doesn't seem to connect from beginning to end. Is he on this trail looking for noise or is he on this trail looking to get away or is he on this trail exerting himself (which he doesn't seem to want to do) because there's a goal in mind? No goal here is really revealed so it's hard to connect to Simon. It's also not clear exactly why he's bothered or tortured mentally here. He was outcasted at school, but it's repeatedly implied that that's not an issue to him. If it's silence he doesn't like, why doesn't he hit the mall or listen to music instead of a trail in the outdoors in the middle of nowhere? I'm sorry. I don't mean to be completely negative. Like I said. The general concept was really good, but I'd almost suggest a re-write. Maybe it's just me.

The following are specific examples of confusion and marks indicating a need for grammatical corrections.

Swanee wrote:Simon stood stagnantly at the start of the dirt path. (I'd personally suggest finding another way to open this. The sentence itself isn't bad really, but "the start" doesn't seem a good way to describe the entrance to a path. It could be a lot more grabbing than this.) Staring with resignation at the daunting task (It may be a task, but the rest of the story implies it's just a choice... and for no particular reason.) before him; (use comma here)he took his first step forward. The trail led steeply up the (perhaps use "a" mountain, as there's no "the" mountain formerly referenced) mountain, causing Simon to slip with every other step. The mountain looked shockingly exposed with all the lush trees of summer suddenly bare of leaves. [color=#0000FF](I'd reword this sentence as well. If the trees are bare now, they're not also lush. I know you were trying to portray that these trees are normally lush, but that has to be done another way. Perhaps say, "With the way the normally lush trees were stripped bare, the exposure of the mountain shocked him." or something.) [/color]The frost had killed it all. He felt conspicuous being the only movement of (Perhaps consider just getting rid of this term? It's not necessary and makes things cumbersome.) life in a place completely void of it.
The solitude did not bother him. Simon had always been Taciturn by nature. At school he had always been more astute than everyone else in his classes and for that reason never had any friends. (This change in subject seems abrupt to me. Forced. Like I said, it could just be me, but I don't see how solitude in the woods is compared to being left alone at school.) He had never meant to act arrogant, but everything he said seemed to make people feel inferior. People didn’t seem to mind him occasionally sounding egotistical, so long as he was there to do there science project for them, but after he finished it he was confounded when they would not even acknowledge him in the hallways. “It didn’t matter now,” he thought to himself while grabbing at a leafless branch for support.
No, it wasn’t the solitude that bothered him; he was used to that, but rather, the lack of anything euphonious to listen to. The only noise was the occasional howling gust of wind blowing the left over leaves from Autumn, or the cold shriek of a bird that hadn’t made it south in time for the early frost. (Birds don't go south to make it to the frost. They go to escape the frost. Perhaps say that they "hadn't made it south in time to escape the early frost.") Simon had always liked to listen to things. He used to listen to anything, so long as there was noise. Simon didn’t like the way his mind wandered when it was completely silent. The silence was always too much.
This was the reason Simon taught himself to whistle. When ever he had needed sounded, he would make it himself. Simon started whistling any song he could think of, but none of them helped. He felt as if the silence was part of the punishment. It was a mental torture that coalesced with the physical torture to make one unbearable pain. He stopped the whistling and continued in absolute silence stubbornly, and stoically bearing his torture. (Toward what? Why? Where? What torture, exactly?)

thank you for your suggestions everbody; I really appreciate it. to answer your comments I don't have a plot. Honestly, I didn't think that far. The story is a variation of the greek story of sisyphus who had to carry a physical burden up a mountain every day only to have it fall down the mountain at the end of the day and he had to repeat this every day. that was the idea behind my story, except my character was carrying a mental burden. As to why he has to climb the mountain, I didnt think that far ahead.

Heya Swanee

You don't have any line by line nit-picks so far, so I thought I'd give you some.

Staring with resignation at the daunting task before him, he took his first step forward.

He felt conspicuous being the only movement of life in a place completely void of it.

At school he had always been more astute than everyone else in his classes, and for that reason, never had any friends.

“It didn’t matter now,” he thought to himself while grabbing at a leafless branch for support.

He used to listen to anything, so long as there was noise.

Hey!

This was very well written and descriptive. The only issue I have here is that there isn't a point to it. Why is he here, alone in this desolate place? The reader does not know. Do you? There is a line between being vague and not making sense. I think you should give the readers an idea of what's going on.

I loved the prose. I hope this isn't a short story but if it is then you should do what I said above. I like the character and I only wish I knew more about him.

I believe the grammar is solid, although some words feel out of place.

That's all I could find. Good job!

-Esther

I actually really like this, it was really descriptive. There were a few grammatical errors.

Swanee wrote:“It didn’t matter now,” he thought to himself while grabbing at a leafless branch for support.

Swanee wrote:When ever he had needed sounded, he would make it himself.

I liked your short story and I loved you descriptive word choice. I do have a couple of suggestions for you..

Simon stood stagnantly

Taciturn

he was there to do there science project for them