Hey Susurrus,
This is Magenta here to review your poem. I thought that this was really well-written. I wasn't really sure whether or not you has a clear message or meaning in this. I would suggest that you change this and expand on it is that the message is clearer. I'm sorry if I sound rude but it just needs a little more. There still is lots of depth to the poem. I think you have a great poem.
"Too much water, I think they meant.
As I walked to work I found myself
Wading through typewriters
And women's shoes.
Discarded belongings-
It's too hard to swim whilst holding them."
I wasn't sure what parts of this meant. Anyway, I think this is really good. Nice vocabulary.
Points: 22652
Reviews: 179
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