Really like the image of
some times i find myself secluded amongst the crowd
thoughts taking over my mind, of times I once had
Its very to the point which suits this poem still, i fell like that feeling alone is a well from which you could draw another poem but for this poem it suits and its directness does not blow over the intensity of the emotion which is hard to not do.
The only suggestion i have is...
but none of it gives me solace, nothing nurtures the soul
of which now I feel empty, like I'm left with no goal.
These lines are really great but as i read over it again i think if the last four words were "left without a goal" instead of "left with no goal" it might add to the already great flow, not that the way its written breaks the flow because it doesn't, its just a suggestion.
Overall great poem and great intensity, i predict many more poems on these emotions as it feels like you capture the feelings without really bleeding them dry for all is there.
Ill keep an eye out for future posts
Points: 890
Reviews: 24
Donate