nurse me back to back to health: an obnoxious, meta, navel gazing exercise.
ENFPs are described as the Campaigners;usually loyal and dedicated,
lively sense of humor,
very perceptive of motives.
tendency to be smothering,
may become bored easily,
extreme dislike of conflict.
My feet brush the water as I lay
spread eagled across the pool deck,
neck sideways to see through the fence crack.
Fingers brush the water drops that covered
page 86 of my Kitty Genovese book.(haha, get it? it's a joke about social ignoranceand how people can be blind toclear acts of murder right in front of their face.in this case, the narrator sits alone,fully dressed and sexually frustratedon the side of a hotel poolacross the street from his house.there's nothing he can do but hope and hope fora miracle to happenor for a gangster to stab himin the middle of the street.)
The question sits as a draft
in the text box, blind faith that
they're compatible (INFJ/INFP)
completely frozen in time.(narrator considered a
Walt Disney metaphor
to support this stanza
with a poetic device)
My words have been hanging
by a thread, specifically the spine
of the Cosmo magazine
sitting under my computer desk,
all the lingerie pages ripped
due to gut feeling and
unimportance.(narrator started going byCould I ask them out on a date,
Cosmo's horoscope
because he lost all confidence
in his own intuition
and feelings)
hold hands and drown in the hotel pool?
Initiate intimacy for once.
That'd be radical?
Tubular?
Something like that.(narrator sucks butt
at reading hints;
like, major butt.
holy heck is he bad.)
Maybe we'll not drown in the pool,
but start the process of friendship building
to where we could possibly reach that point,
or sit in the park at the lake
and talk about stupid crap.
Personality type would matter
to an extent,
but four letters wouldn't.
ENFP, ISTJ,
ENUF LRDY(narrator just made a pun!
That's the punchline to the poem.
I kid you not.)
ENFPs are described as the Campaigners;
tendency to be smothering,may become bored easily,usually loyal and dedicated,
extreme dislike of conflict.
lively sense of humor,very perceptive of motives.cool people, i guess
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,015 Literary Works • 672,845 Reviews
I can't believe this is still in the Green Room. I rather enjoyed this poem all those weeks ago, so when I happened upon it this evening I thought "why the hell not?"
I can't really tell if you're making fun of the MBTI personality typing thing or if this was more of an "am I really like this?" poem or maybe you were considering the pros and the cons of being an ENFP?- but I enjoyed it, non-the-less. Something I like about your poetry is there's often this interesting sort of awkward humour and than a hidden layer of... something a little more depressing. I guess it kind of makes it more real feeling because it's more mellow-dramatic (if I'm using that right) instead of full blown "Nobody loves me D: " kinda drama. I'm not sure if I'm making much sense here...
This line I felt was a little confusing (it also got me really excited because I was like "HIGH FIVE INFJs"). It's okay if I don't understand it I guess, but I just couldn't figure out what you meant to say here. My impression was that the person that the narrator was interested in was either INFJ or INFP... and so the narrator was wondering if INFJs/INFPs are compatible? My other thought was that the narrator was wondering if INFJs and INFPs are compatible. But I feel like you were trying to say something else here and it didn't come across that way. Also what is the "completely frozen in time" referring to? Maybe there's a better way to say that, also, because I feel like "frozen in time" is a pretty common way to describe something... frozen in time. Maybe it's just me!
I was a big fan of the strikeouts, personally. I don't know why, I just liked the commentary! I also thought the ending was pretty brilliant and just kinda ended it on a... nice note, like everything is going to be okay. It kinda felt like a no-crap ending.
I hope my rambling was somewhat helpful. Keep it up, Strange!
-Holy
There are times when I wish that the strikethrough code allowed us to photoshop a single line through a stanza diagonally so that readers wouldn't need to squint. Really, really, largest criticism here.
The tone is clear from the starting shot, and I mean. As soon as the strikethrough hits, it's a Strange poem. No pretense, no need for it, just hyperrealism and scenes that belong in indie films (seriously, guy, start submitting these to Focus Films and make a mint.)
I personally didn't take anything intense away until the notion of drowning in the pool on the first date / becoming friends / altered notions on a dime because That's How Altered Notions Happen. It's done well and pretty minimalist, but that's most of your material. You don't embellish or decorate, sometimes to my chagrin, most times not.
The strikethroughs, though. I feel like there's a better formatting with which you can approach the 'this isn't here but it is' value. My best idea is literally in photoshop, to take an image of the poem and bracket the areas a la English Professor and edit that way. Experiment on the navel gazing? It couldn't hurt. I may even do it myself.
Ending is super duper What? factor. Like yeah, you renounced your notions of the Myers-Briggs personalities, but it's such a non-sequitur that it hurts.
Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
Ty
niiicceee