Littlestorm
“Well, here we are.” My mentor pointed with his nose toward a pile of fallen rocks. “There’s a crack in there that widens out. You’ll sleep there.”
“I certainly hope it’s comfortable.”
“Ha! I’ll find you some moss.” He bounded away, long tail waving.
I licked my chest nervously. The smell of cat was strong here, but I could see no one. I was standing in a depression surrounded by ferns and brambles. Nearby a stream trickled down to collect in a wide, shallow pool.
Well. If I was to meet my new Clan mates, I’d better shake a leg. I gave myself a quick but thorough washing.
I thought I saw a pair of eyes watching me but couldn’t be sure. Spooked, I decided the best tactic would be to tempt my audience out. “Now, now,” my voice echoed, "don’t stalk in the shadows! I have a fresh-caught mouse that I’ll give to the first cat to show their head.”
Two shapes appeared. First came a pure-white queen, expecting kits by the look of her; then a ginger tom. I made my voice gentle: “Hello. I’m your new warrior, Littlestorm. What are your names?”
“Owlflight, and my mate is Briarpelt.” The tom spoke in a cracked voice that suggested age or injury.
“Good. Briarpelt, the mouse is yours. I’ll catch something else for your mate.”
While I was speaking, another tom slunk out of the shadows. His brown-white-and-black fur was in disarray, and he walked with a limp. Is this the state of all their cats? If so, I’d have my work cut out for me.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Thanks, Esther. Littlestorm is original, and so are the others.
"Did some cat mention prey?" asked the newcomer.
"I certainly did. Your name?"
"Dragpaw."
StarClan, was that the best name they could come up with?
"Ok. Where's your leader?"
The three of them looked at each other; Briarpelt spoke for the first time. "Our leader is dead. Rain Clan mourns his loss deeply."
"Your deputy?" I asked with a sinking feeling.
"Yellowfoot hasn't left her den for days," said Owlflight.
"That won't do," I growled. "One of you go and fetch her. Drag her out by the tail if necessary!"
Shocked, the cats of RainClan just stared at me.
Hi Stori!
I have never read the Warriors series before, but I liked this a lot. I'm generally not one for animal stories, but you pulled this off and it was quite enjoyable. I know this is fanfiction, so it is for the FANS, but I think it would benefit the readers more if you gave them a little idea for what is happening. After all, this is really good, and it is a shame that some won't know what is going on.
I like Littlestorm. Is he an original character? Either way, I like his giving personality.
I suggest making this a little longer. It seems cut short.
Keep it up!